


The Biggest Men fall*out* the hardest. Hancock/M!Sole Survivor

by CityPound



Series: John Hancock/M! Sole Survivor [1]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Drug Use, Falling In Love, First Aid, First Time, First gay experience, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Lemon, M/M, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-08 12:59:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 38,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10387185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CityPound/pseuds/CityPound
Summary: Nate and Hancock have a heart to heart after Nate accidentally fires a shot into Hancock's shoulder during a ghoul fight. Nate recalls this as the first moment the idea of any sort of 'non-professional' relationship.





	1. Chapter 1

“You shot me.”

The disbelief mixed with pain on his traveling partners face was apparent even through the radiation scars and deep grooves in his ghoulish face. Nate felt a knot of guilt in the bottom of his stomach as he bent over the mayor of Goodneighbor, his brows scrunched in focus. He ran his tongue across the back of his teeth as he knelt, trying to carefully extract the bullet lodged in Hancock's shoulder before Stimpacking him.

“I can't believe you fucking shot me.”

Before meeting John Hancock, as he called himself, the green vaultie had little positive experience with ghouls. The only thing he had really know was the zombie monsters that clawed and bit at him with appendages filled with radiation. Hancock was probably the first he had even seen that spoke something of an actual sentence instead of a snarl. Of course, this was after stabbing a man who Nate had already intimidated into pacification.

Despite this, Nate struggled to really justify his moment of blindness when he accidently let a bullet fly into his ghoul companion’s left arm in a flurry while turning a corner. He was trigger happy, surrounded by much more… savage versions of the other man’s ailment. Something he should know better. His days in the army should have taught him better. Yet still he was kneeling, giving first aid to Hancock and trying his best not to shoot himself for his rather momentous mishap.

Hancock took a swig of whiskey and winced as Nate dug into the bullet hole with a knife, trying to dislodge the stubborn bullet. His face was mostly annoyance rather than pain. Nate wondered for a moment if maybe the ghoulification had a dulling on the nerves but lost the train of thought when his knife hit something solid. The ghoul’s entire body contracted as Nate finally dislodged the stubborn bullet from his shoulder.

“I'm sorry,” The young-yet-old man said once again, for at the very least the tenth time. “Here.” he unsheathed the cap of a stimpack, making a firm stab near the bullet wound. Hancock winced, glaring at the dirt as the thick fluid mixed with his muscle, very slowly mixing in with his thick blood and making it through his veins. Nate discarded the now fully depressed needle into a corner of the ruined building. He watched the leathery skin begin to web together over the wound, still fascinated by the marvels of ‘modern’ medicine. A man out of time, as they called him.

Hancock lifted his hand, feeling the still somewhat bloody hole in his signature jacket. 

“I'm sorry.”

“You know, I ain't feral right? I'm not gonna bite your face off or nothin’.” Hancock glared, and Nate avoided meeting his eyes. The vet looked down sheepishly, folding his hands over his lap.

“I know, I know.” he finally said after what seemed a lifetime. “It's not… I just.. I'm sorry. I should have paid more attention.”

Maybe he had caught on to the sincerity of his voice, or maybe it was just his style, either way Hancock merely cracked a smile.

“Nah, you and I-- we're fine. No hard feeling. Wouldn't the first time I've been shot on accident… let's just, uh, try to make it the last between you and I, alright?” he motioned between himself and nate with his index finger. Nate smiled,

“I'll do my best as long as you don't shoot me either.”

“Oh, I'll try. At the least I'll avoid that pretty face of yours.” 

Hancock smirked.

Nate’s ears turned red.


	2. Stupid Mistakes - John Hancock/M!Sole Survivor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John Hancock is cocky. Unlike Nate's other companions, it seems John is happy to do anything but stay under cover. For a few times now, its caused Nate panic and stress over the whole thing. This time, John's stupidity causes more problems then Nate was prepared to deal with.

“Cover me. I'm gonna give that raider a taste of the back of my gun,” Hancock didn't even give Nate a chance to protest as he rounded the corner and advanced towards the raider who was distracted still loading the magazine of his pistol. He was bent over behind a few bent over barrels and sandbags, swearing and cursing the two travelers under his breath. He hadn't even seen Hancock coming until the ghoul had already slammed his elbow into the raider’s face. A favorite move followed by the second which of course was a slam of the handle of his gun into the raider’s left cheek. The shock of it sent him reeling, but it was the follow up of several bullets that actually put him down.

Nate let out a sigh of relief, not even realizing he had been holding his breath until after he had let it slide through his perfect pre-war teeth. 

“All clear,” Hancock took a step forward and Nate heard something familiar that immediately told him otherwise.

Beep. Beep. _BeepBeepBeep_.

“Hanco-” he was cut off by the sound of the unexpected and massive mine explosion. He ducked down to avoid the shrapnel, covering the back of his neck and head from the blast.

Smoke and a plume of dust burst up from the earth where Hancock had been just a moment before and it took a few seconds to clear to give Nate a good look at the damage. 

John had been sent sent flying, his ragdoll body thrown sprawled in a puddle of gasoline covered water several feet away. His head was lolled to the side, finger tips and jacket singed from the explosion.

Nate didn't hesitate to move toward his companion with a stim’ in his hand. 

_ Dammit,  _ thought he, cursing under his breath at the carelessness of the ghoul. It wasn't the first time something like this had happened.

 

The same kind of shit had happened just a week ago when the pair of them had been ripping through super mutants in mid Boston. “I ain't carrying your ass outta here,” Hancock had said as Nate narrowly dodged a fucking missile. Oh how muties seemed to love their missile and rocket launchers. As always, the ghoul was being cocky, hanging out enough for a clear shot. A super mutant aimed a shot straight towards them. It missed, but it did hit something. The barrel that Hancock had been using for cover. It exploded, throwing Hancock back five or six feet before he hit the ground with a loud thud and a gasp of surprise. Nate took the moment to deliver a few well aimed shots and managed to take the massive bastards down.

“I'm fine, I'm fine,” Hancock had brushed him off when Nate started to check for wounds. The ghoul bastard wouldn't even let him stimpack him.

Nate lost it.

“You could have gotten us both killed!” he had said, with more intensity then he had.intended. “What were you thinking, using that damn barrel as cover? ‘Oh it just radiation. I'll be fine.’ Fucking clearly.”

And what did he say? 

“Aw, I didn't know you cared so much Sunshine,”

 

Tick, tick, tick. Nate looked down at his Pip-boy. Radiation. Of course. He stepped back, stimpack feeling heavy in his hand. Hancock was laying in a pool of radiation, surrounded by radiation and soaked in… yep. Radiation. Nate already felt nausea kicking in and his heart race at the thought of the poison sinking into his flesh.

“Hancock,” Nate said firmly, hoping to rouse his traveling partner. “Hancock... John!” he shouted now. Not even a groan. Nate was getting worried now. The ghoul was knocked out, or at least he hoped, in a pool of radiation. Of course. Nate had two options. He could wait until the bastard woke up enough to pull himself out or at least stimpack himself. Or, he could do what he was already planning on doing before the thought even left his mind.

Nate recapped the stimpack, putting it into his pack. He threw the bag down softly to the ground and took a deep breath. Alright. Here we go.

Nate wasn't sure if holding his breath did a lick of help as he quickly charged through the rad filled water towards the mayor of Goodneighbor. He didn't waste a moment to gather his bearings. Not even enough to to think maybe it would have been a good idea to take a rad-x or two before jumping into a literal pool of radiation. He didn't think. He just did. Nate lifted Hancock out of the water- a surprisingly easy feat even if Hancock seemed to be skinny. He pulled his arms up around him like a macabre, zombie themed necklace, and pulled his legs up to his sides to make him easier to carry. Nate nearly lost Hancock's hat in the whole process but managed to keep it on with his cheek pressed to it as he hauled his ghoul ass out of the water. 

Nate already felt sick, but he ignored the feeling as he knelt down to put Hancock down next to his pack once they reached solid ground. 

Nate pulled the stim’ back out, stabbing the needle firmly into Hancock's skinny thigh with a hard sigh. He depressed, finally feeling his heart come down from the rapid palpitations. A silent second passed, but it felt like Nate had just inhaled jet the way it dragged on. Finally Hancock's eyes cracked open, seeing the vaultie bent over him like a panicked mother tending to her spawn.

“Hey sunshi’,” he slurred, “Didn't know you cared so much.” his head fell back and his lids drooped back down, a smirk on his bastard face.

Nate follow suit, letting his radiated body fall to the dirt where he rested for what felt like an entirety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For real tho. John Hancock goes down more then any of my previous companions. He refuses to take cover and loves to get right in the middle of things. And he loves using the butt of his gun to fight people with. Its kinda sexy, but frustrating too. Take cover ya bastard.


	3. Damn Good Wine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nate finds some very old wine and the two of them share it in Nate's special hide out. John starts to question their relationship, and Nate's intentions and generosity. Nate gets a bit handsy, but there is no resolve.

Nate dug through the moldy trunk with little success. Here and there he found a few things of use in what seemed to be a hoarder’s stash.

No waste in the wasteland. Though Nate struggled to find the reason why moldy teddy bears were absolutely necessary. Maybe this was really just a trash dump. Even he, a five star hoarder, couldn't find use for a rolled up and burnt boston bugle. He tossed it out and to the side, sighing. 

“Anything good?” Hancock's sandpaper and scotch voice startled Nate from his trance. He played it off, though.

“You know the line ‘one man's trash is another man’s treasure’? Well looks like I found the second man’s trash.” Nate responded, grimacing at a dirty pair of ripped stockings he peeled from the side of the trunk. 

_ Maybe I spoke too soon. Woman's trash. Then again,  _ Nate chuckled to himself as he threw the moldy lingerie in the growing pile of nastiness by the trunk. Hancock laughed with a mix of humor and horror at the discovery. 

“Nah, let's save ‘em. I've been meanin’ to get Daisy a christmas present here soon.” Hancock jeered. Somehow, Nate wasn't entirely sure if he was joking.

“Fine, but you're wearing them.” Nate smirked and the two men bellowed out in stomach shaking laughter.

That's when Nate spotted something out of the corner of his eye. 

“Oh wait. Hold on. Is that..? It is.” he grinned as he wrapped his fingers around his treasure. A reddish brownish purplish glass bottle with a shiny and scratched to hell label. He could still recognize the duck dancing on an outstretched palm despite the wear and tear. He cradled the wine bottle in his arms, staring at its contents greedily. “Ah man, 200 year old wine. This was Nora and my favorite.” 

He felt his tongue burn with her name. Like every time he said it he was somehow betraying her. He brushed the feeling off, showing Hancock the bottle and quickly moving it out of the ghoul’s reach when he made a grab for it.

“Uh uh. Not here.”

“‘Was just gonna look,” Hancock gave a sheepish grin, trying to play innocent. Nate saw right through it. 

“Not here. Come on, I've been meaning to show something to you anyway.” Nate got up, dusting himself off before finding a good spot to store his treasure. He checked his pip-boy, using his index finger to scroll through the map and get his barrings.

“Where, then, brother?” the ghoul asked impatiently. 

“Red Rocket.” replied Nate.

“We've been there dozens of times. It ain't special.” Hancock sneered, cheeks pulling upwards as the only indication of what would be him scrunching his nose.

“I've cleaned it up a bit when I left you in sanctuary to help set up crops.” Nate responded, “I've been using it as sort of my base of operations so to speak. More like a getaway when I don't want to hear preston barking up my ass about another settlement’s problems.” Nate felt a little guilt build into his stomach from saying it outloud, but Hancock smiled in understanding. Being everyone's big brother was exhausting. The major seemed to know that well.

“A’ight. Let's go.”

 

They had arrived at the old gas station and car repair a little past sundown. Nate kicked the power on and stood for a moment, proudly, in front of his work. He had indeed fixed it up. He had moved all the workstations inside, save for the cooking station, and had cleared out all the useless junk that use to fill it.

“Wow. Almost looks livable. And hey, look. You even put some doors in.” Hancock pointed out, specifically at the blue door that now covered what use to be into the back office and storage room. Nate grinned. “What?”

“This is my favorite part.” Nate said. He opened up the blue door and extended an arm.

Nate had transformed the tiny room into a cozy bedroom-living room combo. A couch sat on one side, and on the other side two beds sat opposite of each other with a big trunk between them. It wasn't extravagant in any way, but it was cozy. And private. Hancock smirked. 

“Looks like you made us a little honeymoon suite.” he said playfully, plopping down on the bed on the left. Nate closed the door and took the couch. “Now for wine?” Hancock made for a grab at Nate’s bag but Nate brushed his hands away.

“Patience. We aren't dying anytime soon. And we're not drinking straight from the bottle.” Nate put the wine on its side beside him on the couch before leaning over and popping open the trunk. From it he grabbed some fairly matching and fairly clean cups. He closed the trunk and placed them on top. Hancock tapped his toes, but kept quiet. He was willing to accept that Nate had his rituals. But this better be damn good wine to make him wait this long. 

When the glasses were full Hancock didn't even wait for Nate to put the wine bottle down before snatching up his glass. Nate chuckled, taking his. He kind of found himself enjoying making the grumpy bastard wait. They both took a sip in unison.

Nate had half expected the old wine to have turned, but the flavors and heaviness of it set well in his mouth and felt smooth rolling down his throat. Wasn't long until he was already done with the first glass. Hancock had moved by now to sit next to Nate on the couch, though he hesitated for just a moment before doing so, watching Nate as he sat down. 

“What?” Nate asked, pouring them both a second glass.

“Nothin’. Boundaries. Wasn't sure if you were going to try to reject me sittin’ next to you.”

Nate raised his brow. 

“Is this still about me shooting you?”

Hancock shook his head, “No,” he said a bit too quickly, “No. Kind of? Its related. Not a lot of folks take up traveling with a ghoul. Even one with my kind of charisma,” Hancock quickly started to sip his second glass to distract from the conversation.

Nate looked him over slowly. His face felt warm from the wine. It was hitting him hard. Nate reached out and placed a hand on Hancock's back. The ghoul flinched in surprise but he didn't move away. He watched Nate cautiously. Nate responded with a grin. He draped his arm around him and took another generous sip from his wine. With the newfound permission, Hancock put his own arm around Nate’s shoulders and the two threw back the rest of their wine. Nate, with a shaking hand, pours them each the last of the wine. 

Hancock let his hand slide down but Nate hasn't moved his from the ghoul’s lower back. A shiver ran down his spine, electrifying nerves that were usually too dead to notice.

Nate took another drink. His fleshy cheeks were flushed with color not unlike the dark red liquid that was causing the reaction. Hancock felt like he was on jet. Every movement seemed to drag on forever. Every touch tingled. It wasn't that Hancock couldn't get plenty of tail in Goodneighbor. Power was sexy. Hancock was generous with chems, too. But the touching was all hot and heavy. Nothing soft or affectionate. Not friendly out of pure friendliness. It suddenly settled in Hancock's mind that it seemed that he was on receiving end of that ‘generosity’ now. Nate found the wine. It was his wine. This was Nate’s private place. Hancock's eyes settled on the bed he had been sitting on before. Did Nate put that there for him? His mind swarmed more than it should have on the three cups of very old, very strong wine.

Nate, on the other hand was out of it. He laughed suddenly, face red and warm.

“Man. You’re so warm.” Hancock looked at him with a hollow stare, brow ridge raised in confusion.

“Huh..?” 

“You. You you you… You… you’re warm.” He smiled a broad smile, sliding his hand up his back and over his arm. The wandering hand snaked up again, over his shoulder and down to his thigh. Hancock visibly shuddered. Not in an unpleasant way. The feeling was quite nice. It set his nerve endings off in all the right ways and made his slow beating heart beat just a little faster. Nate’s hand gave Hancock’s thigh a squeeze. 

Hancock got up suddenly, pulling from Nate’s hands. He felt a little sting in the pit of his stomach and he knew for certain it wasn’t radiation that was causing the nausea. Quickly, Hancock flashed a toothy grin at Nate and Nate’s surprised face contorted to match it.

“I’m not that easy.” He teased, to which Nate’s face somehow flushed more. Hancock laughed nervously and Nate started to laugh with him. Nate’s laugh was much more sincere. Nate was much more sincere. “So, Nate.” He paused, pulling a blister pack from his coat pocket as well as a syringe filled with med-x, “What’s your ride of choice? I’m a mentat’s ghoul myself. Makes me feel smarter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started getting into building up the different places. Red Rocket was the one I had no interest in getting settlers. This was going to be my tricked out spot. I spent a good amount of time decorating and rearranging. Now I've got a great place for Hancock and I to do drugs in hahaha.   
> Also inspired by finding a buttload of wine in an abandoned house. Decided to edit the event down a bit and get hella drunk with my favorite ghoul ;)


	4. Much Needed Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Much longer then the last few chapters. In this, Nate wakes up from an awful dream that leaves him a bit out of it for their next mission. Hancock insists they take a break and just enjoy themselves for the day but Preston intervenes. What happens when they finally get that break they've been longing for.

Nate is in the kitchen, humming to himself over the sizzle of eggs on pan. Usually, Codsworth did the cooking. Not on sundays, though. On sundays, the kitchen was Nate’s church and the popping of oil on metal was his preacher. The sound filled his ears so vividly. Nate puts plates down in front of Nora and Shawn, and gives both of them a kiss before sitting down in front of his own plate while Codsworth gets to work cleaning up the kitchen.

“Did you hear, Nate? The war is over. Says so in the news.” Nora smiles and Nate smiles back. Nate and Nora and Shawn. A gentle whine alerts Nate to the dog sitting at his side. Nate pats dogmeat on the head.

“Codsworth, did you feed Dogmeat?”

“Dogmeat, sir?” Nate’s eyes widen in surprise at the confusion in Codsworth’s voice. 

“I mean Spike. I don’t know why I-”

A jarring bark fills Nate’s ears. He turns to look at Spike, but the dog isn’t there. He’s not in his living room anymore. He’s standing in the middle of the commonwealth, surrounded by heat. In the distance, the sky explodes in a bright white light. A cloud is thrown up. 

“Nate!” Nora’s voice. He turns to see her, but it isn’t her. Her face has melted away, her nose is gone. Her eyes are black and hollow as she reaches toward him. Nate throws himself back, mouth open in a silent scream. Why can’t he scream? She falls in front of him, dissolving into dust. Shawn is gone. The dog is gone. Codsworth is gone. The world around him is melting and decaying rapidly as time around him moves at such a speed he feels like he’s going to vomit. He’s trying to scream, but his throat feels so dry. Nothing is coming out. His mouth is just open wide, and his face is screwed up in silent horror. He looks at his hands. His hands are melting away. His skin is peeling from the bone and his bones are turning to dust. His entire body is blowing away in the flurry of time passing. Nate screams.

 

Nate sat up in a cold sweat, gasping. His chest rose and fell in rapid succession. It took him several minutes to get his barrings. Where was he? He turned his head, meeting the gaze of the curious brown pooch that sat at the edge of his bed. Dogmeat. He must have been dreaming. Of course he had been dreaming. Nate reached out, putting his hand over the dog’s cheek and jaw, wiggling his fingers through the thick fur. Dogmeat leaned his head against Nate’s hand and took back off and out of the house to continue doing whatever Dogmeat did during the day.

Nate had awful dreams every time he stayed in Sanctuary. He usually opt to walk over to the Red Rocket and sleep in the bed set up he had made there then stay in the little community that still had so many heavy memories on his heart, but for whatever reason he slept here instead. It was then he noticed John Hancock leaning against the frame of the bedroom door, watching him with his arms crossed over his chest. 

“Bad dream?” He asked. Nate didn’t have to respond. Hancock didn’t wait for him to. He entered the room without asking for permission, offering an extended arm. “Let's get out of here. Settlers keep looking like they’re going to strangle me in my sleep. Haven’t got any of it due to it.” Nate took his hand and let the other man pull him to his feet. “What’s on our radar?”

Nate shook the sleep out of his head, stretching and feeling several disks in his spine pop. He yawned, fumbling at his pip-boy. He never took the damn thing off. He was always afraid a raider was going to try to steal it off of him that he just kept it on. Bleary eyed, it took him a moment to focus on the the notes. However, by the time he could finally read something, Hancock put his hand over it. “You know what? You look awful. We could use a chem break, I think.” Nate looked up, surprised. Well. Not really surprised. Curious? “What? Don’t look at me like that. You’ve been having nightmares for days. Not just here. Every time we sleep. Don’t think I haven’t noticed. You need a day off from being everyone’s hero.”

“Yeah… Yeah, maybe,” Nate responded. At that, Hancock lead the way out of the Sanctuary building and out toward the road. Preston, however, stopped them. 

“The two of you look like you’re up to trouble.” He said. Nate was still too tired to force any kind of expression but exhaustion. Hancock, however, had a shit eating grin. The usual. It always impressed Nate how he was always ready to shine that mayorly charisma even at this hour. 

“Us? Trouble? Never.” Hancock responded.

“Right. Well, then you won’t mind helping out some more good folks. A settlement near-”

“A settlement? In trouble? Ghoul-slash-mutant-slash-bandits attacking-slash-raiding-slash-eating them?” Hancock asked, a look of mock shock on his face. “What can we do?” Preston glared daggers into Hancock. Hancock’s smile never dropped.

“I’ll mark it on your map.” Nate extended his arm while Preston scrolled through the map with his index finger. While distracted, he had no idea the ghoul had stood behind him, miming awful and lewd things. Nate did his best to ignore him.

“Here,” Preston stepped back and Hancock had to make a quick backwards stumble to keep from being stepped on and giving himself away.

“We’ll do what we can,” Nate said sincerely, and finally the two of them headed off and out of sanctuary. 

The day carried on as expected. He knew what Hancock wanted to do, but Nate’s sense of duty seemed always one step stronger than Hancock’s need for play. The two of them mowed through the ghouls. It had started to become easy, in a way. Sure, it was still pulse rising, violent and bloody. It was still risky, it still made them fear for their lives and it still made them itch for jet or med-x or psycho. Something to make their head’s feel anything but the anxiety of the battle field.

“Fucking glowing ghoul shit-heads.” Nate dragged a hand down his face, trying not to vomit from the stink and the radiation poison setting into his skin.

“Hold still,” Hancock said for the third time, trying to get a good angle into Nate’s vein with the IV bag of radaway he kept tucked under his chin. Nate tried his best not to bounce his leg. He wanted to vomit. The prick of the needle piercing his skin nearly made him jump. He steeled himself, however. “There,” Hancock said, putting his warm hand over the crook of Nate’s elbow as the radaway started to flow through the rubber tubing and into the sole survivor’s veins. Warm. Nate closed his eyes a little and focused on that feeling. That warm feeling. He was fully aware that same feeling was caused by the exact reason why he had to take the radaway. Radiation flowed through Hancock’s veins as part of his life-system. It was bonded to him. It was a part of him. Radiation was as much a part of Hancock’s system as blood or oxygen. But, Nate never had any issues with just being touched or near a ghoul. There was another element to it that caused the radiation to be passed. Probably biting or clawing. Actually breaking skin. Sex maybe?

Nate ignored the thought. Or he tried to. Was radiation like an STI in this situation? Something passed through bodily fluids? Nope. That was enough of that thought. Nate knew nothing about ghouls and he wasn’t going to pretend he did.

Hancock pulled the needle free from Nate’s arm, rubbing the pierced spot with his thumb as he discarded the empty pack on the ground. Nate hissed through his teeth a little.

“Come on. Let’s get outta here. I think we deserve that chem break.” Nate didn’t protest. He felt sore in places he didn’t know he could feel sore in and he wanted nothing more than to forget what that was like. Again, he let Hancock take the lead as he did his best to stretch out those stubborn muscles while they walked. 

Hancock had lead them to a shack. Something they had passed on the way there and already looted. It was old, falling apart, but not too filthy or unpleasant. Hancock kicked the dust out of the old couch on the bottom floor and took a sprawling seat. He motioned with his eyes to the spot next to him and Nate gratefully took the spot with a slightly more upright position. He felt too lucid and too tired to hold the same humor as Hancock. Before he knew it, Hancock was holding an inhaler to Nate’s mouth. Nate breathed in as his friend expertly depressed the jet. It filled his lungs and the world slowed down. All the dark browns and faded colors lit up like they were glowing. The dull burgundy in the rug became bright red, the faded green paint on the walls became neon. The inhaler was brought from his face. He watched Hancock’s hand move away in slow motion. The world around him danced for what seemed like forever in bright colors and dim lights.

He must have been moving his head side to side rather quickly, because when the drug left his system the world seemed to be spinning around him at light speed. Nate shook his head, trying to get the feeling out. Coming off of jet wasn’t necessarily bad, but it was always shocking. Reminding himself that the world didn’t actually move that slowly was always a process. Fortunately the time he was high, Hancock had prepared a med-x needle. He flicked the syringe body, clearing any air bubbles that might be trapped inside the thick liquid. Nate let his mind wander while Hancock tied his arm off for the injection. He prefered when Hancock did it for him. He hated needles prewar. Even stimpacks still gave his heart a jump whenever he had to stab the thick needle into his leg. It seemed, though, his ghoulish travel partner seemed more then happy to use his expertise. Soon, Nate’s body had started to feel a numbness overwhelm his entire body.

He rolled his head over to look at Hancock. As his eyes moved, it felt like the entire room had to be dragged along with them. Like he was moving his head through thick gel. He was dizzy in all the right ways. Hancock was prepping his own needle. Nate imagined finding a vein through his leathery skin must be hard. Nate watched him struggle, though he seemed to know the right spot. It didn’t take him too long, but definitely longer than it took him to find it on Nate’s muscular and fleshy arm. Soon, both of them were leaning against each other on the old couch, enjoying the numbness delivered by the painkiller drug. 

“Hey,” Hancock said after a minute passed. Nate seemed startled. Usually they didn’t chat too much during trips. “Hey,” Hancock said again, as if to confirm Nate had heard what he thought he did.

“Hey,” Nate responded, patting Hancock on the thigh. Not in a sexual way. In a friendly, ‘I know you’re there and that’s cool’ kind of way. Hancock laughed. His laugh sounded almost like it was booming and twice as loud as it actually was. It vibrated through Nate’s entire being.

“Hey. How are you feeling? Good?” Nate nodded, “Good. You deserve it. Man, you’re able to handle a lot, for someone who hasn’t grown up in our shitty world. Hey,” Nate smiled a bit at him, encouraging him to continue. He was too far gone in the high to say much. Hancock was charismatic no matter what drugs were in his system.

“Everything alright?” Nate managed.

“Look, I needed to mention…” Hancock swallowed, “Just askin’ you to take care of Bobbi. I ain’t proud of that. That sort of dictatorial shit. Ain’t usually my style.”

“Hey man, she tricked us both,” Nate interrupted, patting Hancock’s back reassuringly. “Dealing with her was the right move.”

“True. But it doesn’t change the fact that she’s out of the picture cause of us. Hell,” Hancock adjusted himself slightly, sitting up slightly more. He crossed his legs, looking deep in thought. He put a hand on his hip, despite the fact that he was sitting, “that sorta bull’s the whole reason I became major in the first place. Some ass named Vic ran the town for I don’t know how  long before that.

“Guy was a scum. Used us drifters like his own personal piggy bank. He had this goon squad he’d use to keep people in line. Every so often he’d let them off the leash, go blow steam on the populace at large. Folks with homes could lock their doors, but us drifters, we got it bad. There was one night, some drifter said something to them.

“They cracked him open like a can of Cram on the pavement. And we all just stood there. Did nothing.”

At this point in the story, anger had boiled in Nate’s stomach. Civilians, innocent people, just wanting to live their lives without torture. Unable to do anything about a bunch of shit heads?

“Was there no one who could have helped?!” Nate burst out. Hancock seemed alarmed by the outburst, sitting up slightly more. Nate muttered an apology, but kept his face stoic. 

“Who knows. Maybe. Honestly we were all so terrified, we couldn’t bring ourselves to move until it was over, let alone get help.” Hancock stared at his boots for a cold few seconds, “I left like less than nothing. Afterwards, I got so high, I blacked out completely. When I finally came to, I was on the floor of the Old State House. Right in front of the clothes of John Hancock. John Hancock,” A little smirk, “The first American hoodlum and defender of The People.” Nate couldn’t help but smile a little at this too. Must have been quite the image. 

_ Actually,  _ Nate shivered at the thought,  _ It must have looked incredible. _

“I might’ve still been high, but those clothes spoke to me, told me what I needed to do. I smashed the case, put them on, and started a new life. As Hancock.” Nate let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “After that, I went clean for a bit, got organized, convinced Kleo to loan me some hardware. Got a crew of drifters together and headed out to the ruins, started training. Next time Vic’s boys went on their tear, we’d be ready for ‘em.”

“You don’t actually think the clothes of John Hancock spoke to you, right?” Nate questioned, a look of genuine concern on his bruised face. Hancock laughed a little,

“Nah, I just felt, you know, a connection. It seemed like he and I were dealing with the same shit - serious oppression.” Hancock continued his story, “So the night of, we all got loaded, let Vic’s boys get good and hammered, and burst from the windows and rooftop where we’d been hiding. They never even saw it coming. We didn’t have to fire a single shot.” Nate had a look of relief on his face. “We didn’t  _ have  _ to.” Hancock continued, “But we sure fucking did. It was a massacre. Once we mopped up, we strolled right into Vic’s quarters in the State House, wrapped a rope around his neck, and threw him off the balcony.”

Nate had just noticed how fast his heart was beating, despite the drugs still clinging to his system. He was completely enthralled in the story.

“And there I am, gun in hand, draped in Hancock’s duds, looking at all the people of Goodneighbor assembled below. I had to say something. The first time I said ‘em, they didn’t even feel like my words: ‘Of the people, for the people!’

“Was my inaugural address. Became Mayor Hancock of Goodneighbor that day. And from then on, I vowed I’d never stand by and watch. Ever again.”

Nate was silent for a good moment. “Wow.” was all he could manage. Hancock laughed,

“Look, I just hope you get where I was coming from. I ain’t out to bring harm to anyone who didn’t earn it. Though, I’m getting the distinct idea you got the same plan.”

Nate grinned. Hancock grinned.


	5. Old World Religion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nate has an itch he can't scratch. Addiction to the numbness he craves from chems, and Hancock refuses to encourage it for once. Instead, the two talk in an old church and Hancock has some surprisingly sound pieces of advice to share.

Nate could feel every goddamn thing. The ground below his feet, the heaviness of his clothes, his armor, and his pack. He could feel the cold on his skin. He could feel the hair on his neck. He felt his arms itch like there were ants speeding across even know he knew that there weren’t. Last night had sent Nate over. His veins pulsed. They wanted to feel numb again. He wanted to feel numb again. His throat felt dry.

Hancock must have noticed Nate’s frustration. He pat the larger man’s back. Nate saw it coming, and expected the feeling to send just another frenzy of ‘ants’ crawling down his back. Instead, he was pleasantly surprised at how comforting it felt. His inhumanly warm touch on his tense muscles was exactly the feeling he needed to come back down to reality. Nate smiled, despite himself, and rubbed the dreariness from his eyes.

“Sorry. I’m tired.” He responded.

“No you ain’t. I know that look. I’m the last person you can lie about that to,” The mayor was right, but Nate wasn’t expecting him to buy the lie. He was just hoping he’d pretend to. Nate sighed, glaring through the misty morning, and kicking a rock in frustration. A mistake. The pain throbbed through him. He knew he wasn’t that weak, and he didn’t kick that hard, but it hurt like a son-of-a-bitch either way. 

“Shit,” Nate managed. Hancock raised his brow. “Look, I’m fine. I just need a hit, I’ll be fine.” Nate reached toward his bag, but Hancock grabbed his wrist.

“You need to lay off. Flush your system.” Hancock insisted, “You can’t be dependent. What if we’re in a situation where we can’t find anything? Moderation, my friend. You’re going to have to learn about that the hard way now.” Nate didn’t expect that lecture from the same ghoul who, when they first started to traveling together, offered him more drugs then he had seen in his life. In fact, before traveling with Hancock, the use of chems were something he rarely did. Just here and there, to help with a situation. Usually he’d get too many judgemental looks from whoever he was traveling with to bother. 

“I’m fine. I’m fine, I just need-”

Hancock cut him off again, “You need to flush your system before you do something stupid.” He still had a grip on Nate’s wrist. The hot flesh against his own had started to overwhelm him. Nate let out a hard breath, coughing a bit from the dryness of his throat.

“Alright, alright.” Nate gave in. Though he didn’t want to. He wanted to feel good. This didn’t feel good. He felt weak, too. Too weak. Like anything could break him. Hancock could easily pin him, despite his small frame, and…

Nate shook his head. That was an unexpected thought. Hancock had stepped ahead of them, surveying around the corner, and Nate couldn’t help but stare at the smaller man. Was it his charisma? It wasn’t his face. Well, not completely. He kept having these goddamn dirty thoughts whenever his mind wasn’t busy planning on how to not die. Nate thought of that smirk Hancock sometimes got when he was about to do something stupid. Nate liked that smirk. Playful. Reminded him of Nora.

Nate shook his head. No. No thinking of Nora like this. While thinking of - of a man. It finally hit Nate. He was thinking of a man in this way. Every part of his being wanted to flee at that moment. Fear etched into his already on the edge mind.

“Fuckin’ muties,” Nate popped his head out of the cloud he had been lost in.

“Huh?” He asked, grateful for the distraction either way.

“ _ Muties.  _ Super mutants. Shit, brother. You’re more outta it then I thought. You gonna be able to aim okay or should we run like hell until you sober up nice and properly?” Nate smirked,

“No amount of drugs could stop me from covering you,  _ brother. _ ” Nate replied.

“Well good.”

The two of them rounded the corner with a roar of gunfire. Bullets flew and Nate’s mind became blank with nothing but tactics and adrenolin. That’s exactly what he needed. A distraction pumped with that burning fire of energy. It was the best he had felt all day.

“I will crush you, human!” Screamed a super mutant. It was running right at Nate with a bat gripped in his stubby fingers. Nate blinked blankly, raising his gun to fire. Hancock, however, got to it first, blowing a massive bullet right into it’s face. Blood splattered Nate’s face, but otherwise the whole thing was kind of…  _ sexy.  _

Nate grinned, dropping behind the massive corpse for cover as he let off a few more bullets into the head of a screeching super mutant that was aiming at Hancock. That’s how it went. The two of them covering each other, not even focusing on what was coming after themselves. He trusted Hancock had his back, and Hancock trusted him. The body count rose. 

“Woooo!” Nate screamed out, feeling his heart race and his skin tingle with sweat. 

“Did you take psycho or somethin’?” Hancock questioned, though real concern could be heard in his voice. Nate panted. What?

“No. No.” Nate shook his head, suddenly feeling embarrassed. Did he really? “No, sorry. Just…” He motioned at their successful fight. He didn’t have the words to describe his feeling. Hancock smirked knowingly, however.

“Alright. You see what you can find on ‘em. I’ll keep watch.” 

 

The super mutants must have taken up in the massive church for its sheer size. It was a little strange seeing massive chained balls of meat hang from the same pews that Nate and his family use to sit in every sunday morning. Hancock was less preoccupied with the meat sacks and more with the vassness of the church.

“Wo-ow,” He whistled through his teeth, hands on his hips, “The pastor must ‘ave had quite the ego,” 

“Maybe. It was a nice church before.” Nate responded. Hancock seemed a bit surprised at this comment for just a moment.

“Sometimes I forget how old you are, vaultie.” Hancock grinned, “Not often a ghoul

meets a human older than most ghoul’s he knows.” Nate scratched his face and neck for a second. Goddamn ants. Quickly, Hancock tried to distract him. “What was it like, then?”

Nate took a seat in a pew that wasn’t smeared with blood. Hancock sat beside him, leaving enough room for a whole other person between them. Not like him. That was until he through his feet up to rest on the armrest by Nate, legs hovering over his lap. He put his arms behind his neck to support his head as he watched Nate, clearly waiting for his story. Nate laughed, using Hancock’s legs as arm rests. 

“It was a church. Big, as you can see. Often my family and I would sit in the back so Shaun wouldn’t get too fussy and Nora could easily sneak out with him if he did. We’d sit and listen as the pastor told us what was ‘sin’ and what was ‘love’. What was okay, and why things weren’t by telling stories from an old book. I dunno if church exists. I don’t even know if Christians exist anymore.” Nate added, looking over the old wood.

“Oh, they do. Mostly whack-jobs. My brother and I would be sent to sunday school when we were pretty young, though. Probably nothing like this, though.” He motioned at the massive monolith. Nate somehow felt - he wasn’t sure how to put it - comforted? By the thought of John Hancock going to church as a kid. Nate laughed,

“Yeah, they were mostly whack-jobs in my day too. But the community was nice. More then nice. It was comforting. People of the same beliefs getting together. Feeding each other. The church did a lot of things for others too. We ran a number of charity events. Feed the homeless, clothing for underprivileged youth.” Nate tried to come up with another event to list, but nothing came to mind. Still, the smile on Hancock’s face told him he didn’t have to.

“ _ Really? _ ” He asked, “Wow. Seems folks prewar were a lot more loving toward their fellow men.”

“Not really,” Nate replied with a little frown, “Some people were genuinely kind. Some people used it as ‘points’ to get into heaven. They just cared about themselves. But, those genuine people were enough to make up for that. People who gave cash to homeless even when nobody was looking. People who donate from the comforts of their home instead of at a charity event just to make themselves look good.” Nate motioned,

“At least they gave.” Hancock pointed out. Nate hadn’t thought of that.

“Yeah. I suppose.” Nate smiled a little. God his neck itched. He scratched it again.

“Look. If you can’t handle it, there is one option for you.” Hancock reached into his jacket. Nate had half expected him to take out some chems and he felt embarrassed at how much relief he felt at the idea. It looked like Jet, but a little different. “Its called addictol. It’ll make you feel completely clean after you take it. But, listen,” He paused, stretching his arm out toward Nate. Nate put his hand on it but he didn’t let go quite. “Listen, this isn’t the answer every time, alright? You can’t just fill yourself on so much shit and use this every time just to not deal with your problems. Listen, brother. Listen. You can’t use this as the answer every time. Take it easier, alright? Moderation.” He released his grip and Nate took it. He looked at the inhaler curiously. Moderation.

“I promise -” Hancock cut him off,

“You don’t gotta promise me nothing. I ain’t your mama.” He said. Nate looked up at the front of the church, imaging a pastor standing there with his arms up in the air. He remembered the man shouting how drugs and drink were sin. Sin. Sin. Sin.

“I promise. I’ll be careful. I’ll watch myself.” Nate said. Hancock watched him curiously as he brought the inhaler up to his lips. He pulled on it hard, and the chemical released into him. Hancock watched as his face turned warm, no longer pale with the itch. He watched as Nate went from tense to relaxed. He watched as Nate went from sick to healthy. Hancock smiled as he drew his lips back, saliva wetting the mouthpiece of the inhaler. He watched as if he were on jet and everything was happening in slow motion. His heart pounded.

“Let’s get out. It fucking stinks in here.” Hancock finally said, swinging his legs off the bench and pulled himself up. Nate stood with a new energy and discarded the empty inhaler. Hancock wouldn’t tell him it was the only one he had. Nate wouldn’t need it again. Hancock knew he had to be careful too. He knew he had a lot of people to impress, but he needed to be a little better. He was a bad influence on Nate, and he fucking knew it. He fucking knew this would never happen if it weren’t for him encouraging constant ‘chem breaks’. Hancock knew he had to be better. Nate’s health depended on it.

“ _ Fuck, _ ” Nate breathed as they stepped out of the old church, “More fucking  _ super mutants _ .”


	6. Impure Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nate and Hancock visit Diamond City together to stock up on supplies, and Hancock makes no secret how uncomfortable he is in his childhood home. Oh, did he mention that? Story time then.

Nate knew Hancock didn’t like diamond city. The guards often commented on him, told Nate to get him out of there, inform Nate for the fifth time that hour that ghoul’s weren’t allowed in Diamond City. Hancock wasn’t allowed in Diamond City, no matter who his brother was. Not that his brother would say or do anything to protect him. Because of this, he stood close to Nate. Because, unlike his brother, Nate did protect him. He just smiled and nodded when guards talked to him, but if one so much as pointed a finger at Hancock, he would tell them, “Think of him as my guest. I’ll gladly spend my caps somewhere else if that’s a problem.” Or, “It’ll just be a moment, or should I encourage Piper to write a paper on how the guard are all synths?” That usually shut them up. And Hancock would stride right by them, grinning and sending them a finger gun and a charming smile. They hated that. He loved that they hated that.

Nate was standing at Diamond City Surplus, digging through boxes of junk at the moment. Hancock watched the black haired lady as she glared at him. She shook like a chem addict, glared like one too. Paranoid. Unhappy even when happy. He knew the look.

“No Synths.” She reminded Nate for the third time. Nate smiled and nodded, continuing to dig through the mounds of shit she had stockpiled.

“I know,” Nate responded. This seemed to get her flustered, but she wasn’t going to kick him out yet. Hancock crossed his arms over his chest. She seemed to take that as a threat because she lifted a shaking finger right at him. Hancock smiled as warmly as he could in response but prepared for her insults or screams.

“You -” Nate popped up right then, holding a box of bullets and a few stimpacks.

“Here. This is what I want.” She turned her gaze and looked at him. He smiled back and paid her and the two of them got out of there as quickly as they could before she could continue her thought.

“Can we please leave,” Hancock said it more as a demand then a question. Nate didn’t lose that dumb smile, though. He never did. Hancock had learned that that smile usually meant one of two things. He was about to say something extremely sassy, or he was going to torture Hancock a little more.

“Nah. I got one more thing to do.” Hancock stared. What else could he fucking want in this awful city. “It’ll only take a second,” Nate insisted and Hancock finally huffed in defeat. Those eyes. That puppy dog look with that stupid fucking smirk. Hancock loved that look. Loved it? Is that really the thought that came to mind? That's ridiculous. He followed Nate, feeling self conscious. The feeling of eyes on him dug even deeper as Nate dragged them through the residential area of Diamond City. People shut their doors, closed their windows. He heard someone tell their kid to be careful.  _ It could go feral any second, son.  _ He was about to lose it when he felt Nate’s hand rest on his back. He felt himself melt at his friend’s touch. Friend. All kinds of thoughts followed that one.

He remembered a time where Nate had passed out in an old shack, curled with his arm under his head as a pillow. He was fully dressed, but it didn’t keep Hancock from undressing him with his eyes as he sat on the other side of the bedroom on his own mattress. He had been prepping a jet inhaler when he got distracted by the image. Nate wasn’t awake to notice him staring, so he drank in the body of the sole survivor without fear. Muscular, arms bigger than three of Hancock’s. His back was ripped with muscles, even under the clothes he could see that. His shoulders were broad, his neck thick with muscle and his hips tight and square. Maybe he wasn’t looking at his hips. Thick thighs lead to thick, muscular legs. His eyes rose up again and he stared at the back of Nate’s head.

He wanted to be curled right there next to Nate. He wanted to have the taste of salt and sex on his lips. He wanted to feel those hips in his hands. He wanted to not just look, he wanted to touch. He wanted the permission to do so. He wanted Nate to want it. 

More thoughts followed that one, though. Ones that made his weak gut churn. He wanted to vomit at  _ those thoughts.  _ Nate didn’t deserve being stuck with him. Hancock didn’t even deserve one night with Nate. He didn’t deserve his friendship. He didn’t deserve shit from Nate. Yet Nate seemed more than willing to give it. Would he be willing to give him something more? Pain in his gut again.  _ Stop fooling yourself, old man. _ Hancock cursed himself for even entertaining the thought. It wasn’t fair to Nate. It wasn’t fucking fair to him. All these fantasies were just that. Fantasies. Unhealthy thoughts that created expectations that Hancock didn’t deserve to have.

“Are you staring at me for any reason?” Nate’s voice rung in Hancock’s ears. Or what remained of his ears. Hancock was fucking happy he didn’t have much skin or blood flow in his face, because he knew if he did he’d be redder than a tato. He realized how he looked. His hand was on a jet inhaler that hadn’t even been taken left, frozen while staring at his gorgeous traveling companion like a fucking creeper. 

“Uh, sorry. I was spacing.” Hancock said quickly, holding up the jet and hoping Nate didn’t realize he hadn’t even taken it yet. Nate smiled and now faced Hancock

“Get some sleep, we’ve got a lot of traveling to do tomorrow. We’re heading to Diamond city.” 

 

Hancock felt much more relaxed than he thought possible now. He looked up at the neon sign that sat above Valentine’s door. This is where they were going?  _ That’s a relief.  _ He thought as they entered the small detective agency. Nick’s assistant was bent over a box of files in the back and Hancock couldn’t help but explore her body a little with his eyes. She had a nice -

“Hello Nate!” She said with a chipper voice, seeming a little surprised to see the two of them, “Do you have a meeting with Nick?” She asked.

“Yep.” Nate responded, and she smiled at him. She smiled at Hancock too.

“Hello Mr. Hancock. How are you?” She asked. Hancock blinked in surprised. The friendliest thing he had heard in days from anyone but Nate. 

“Uh,” For a moment, he was a loss for words. A rarity. She smiled patiently. “Oh. For fucksake. I’m so use to people telling me to leave today I can’t even think of how to respond to a simple question like ‘how are you?’” He laughed. She giggled. Cute giggle. He took a seat next to Nate, suddenly feeling much more comfortable in the situation. She smiled at the both of them. “I’m fine. Not as fine as you.” He winked. She giggled again, covering her face. Her cheeks reddened. God that was cute, too. He looked at Nate, who was grinning in his dreamy way at her too. She seemed to like having both of the men’s attention, despite herself. Hancock kind of liked it too. For a split second he imaged the two of them taking her at once upstairs, but that thought was interrupted by Nick’s voice. 

“Ah. My favorite vault dweller and my second favorite of his companions.” Nick took a slow seat at his desk, crossing his hands over his chest and looking at the two of them.

“Second favorite?” Hancock looked insulted, but the corner of his lips betrayed him. “Who’s the first favorite?”

“The dog, of course.” Nick responded. Nate laughed. 

“Dogmeat is pretty great,” Nate responded, “I dunno. He might be my favorite too,”

For some reason, when Nick made the joke it was funny. When Nate made it, he actually felt a prick of pain in his chest. He knew it was a joke, but he still felt that  _ prick.  _ He smiled despite this, though.

“I guess I’ll have to start humping your leg and eat out of a dog bowl to make up the difference.” Hancock joked. They both roared with laughter at the image.

“So, what brings you to my office today, boys?” Nick asked, looking between the two.

“Nothing,” Nate responded, “We were just in town. It didn’t feel right not visiting you.” Nick’s yellow eyes glanced between the two, expert eyes scanning for some sort of alternative motive. When he didn’t find any, he smiled.

“Ellie, get the boys some coffee, please.” Ellie smiled and complied. 

 

Hancock was glad they had spent time with Nick, despite everything. By the time they finally left, it was dark out and far less people were around to glare at him. He was glad about that too. He was good at keeping a smile on his face. He was good at pretending he was okay even when he wasn’t. Nate played along for the most part, but the little things. The hand on his back, the comforting smile and reassurance. He knew. He saw right through Hancock’s facade. 

They were on the road, though. Despite the dark, despite Nick insisting that he put them up for a night, Nate shook his head. It was time to go. Hancock was grateful for this. Especially knowing that Nate must be exhausted. The two of them made it through the ruins carefully, guns up and eyes squinting in the dark. It wasn’t until Hancock reminded him how dark it was that Nate even thought about turning on his pip-boy flashlight. At least with that they could see where they were going. Hancock had thought quite a bit today. His thoughts were so chaotic. So many ups and so many downs. So many insecurities and so many wants. He couldn’t hold them all in.

“Hey Nate. Look… Can we chat for a minute?” He asked. Anxiety boiled in his stomach.

“I’m sorry,” Nate said, “I know you don’t like Diamond City. I didn’t mean for us to stay that long.”

“What? No - It’s not that.”

“What’s up? Is everything alright?” Nate turned, his face being lit by a nearby barrel fire. It was almost foreboding. Should he even say this? Was it necessary? Hancock let out a frustrated sigh.

“It seems you know how to hold your own. I had my doubts when we first hit the road.”

“Doubts? What kind of doubts?”

“You kiddin’ me? You looked like you fallen out of the vault that day. I thought I’d be seeing you picking your teeth out of the gutter by sun up. It’s just - It’s just real rare these days, find someone who’s not just willing to take things the way there handed to them. Too many good folks not willing to get their hands dirty and too many assholes taking advantage of it. Look at what happened to Diamond City,” Hancock pointed his gun back behind them, staring at the diamond shaped signs that pointed them towards what use to be the Boston Arena. “Before McDonough took over, it was a half-decent place to live. A little stricter than I usually go for, but not terrible. I thought he and I had a pretty happy childhood. But then -” He paused, letting out another frustrated huff, “He decides he’s gonna try and get elected with his anti-Ghoul crusade - ‘Mankind for McDonough.’

“Before you know it, you got families with kids lining up to drag folks they called ‘neighbor’ out of their homes and throw them to the ruins.” Nate had a look of surprise on his face. Hancock paused for a moment to let him say whatever he was going to say.

“You and McDonough knew each other as kids?”

“Oh,” Hancock blinked. Had he not mentioned this before? Probably not. “Oh yeah. Guy’s my brother. Grew up together in a little shack on the waterfront.” He continued, “Guy was a standard big brother - entitled, punchy, liked to shove rotten tatoes down my shirt and slap my back. But,” Hancock looked at Nate, fighting a lump in his throat and an anger in the pit of his stomach. “I never thought he’d be capable of something like what they did to those ghouls.”

Nate had a look of shock on his face. It looked like he was thinking hard. Maybe imaging what they looked like as kids. Hancock wondered if it was hard for him to imagine himself as anything but the ghoul he was now. He didn’t like the idea of Nate thinking of him as anything but what he was, and hoped that all he imagined was a kid shaped ghoul with a kid shaped McDonough. 

“How could they do something like that?” Nate suddenly blurted out, anger taking over any other emotion he might be feeling. Hancock was relieved. He knew Nate was a good egg. With a little smile on his face, Hancock continued.

“There’d always been a pretty big gulf between folks living in the stands and folks down in the field. McDonough ran on it because he thought enough of those Upper Stands assholes would vote for him. Guess he was right.

“I remember storming into his office above the stands after the inauguration speech. He was just standing there, staring out the window, watching the city turned on the Ghouls. He didn’t even look at me, he said, ‘I did it John. Its finally mine.’ Should ‘ave killed him there. I don’t think it would have changed anything. Instead I pleaded with him, begged him to call it off. He said he couldn’t. He said he had nothing against the Ghouls. He was just carrying out the will of the people. And he couldn’t betray the voters. And then he smiled. That hideous mile long smile. He never smiled like that when we were kids,” The look on Hancock’s face was anger. He felt angry. He felt like spitting, like kicking something. “I didn’t even recognize him.”

He was a few feet from Nate now, staring at the rocks and the ruins. Nate looked like he wanted to do something. Grab him? Put a hand on his back, like he usually did when the ghoul needed comfort? He didn’t do either. Hancock wished he would, though. “What do you mean, didn’t recognize him?”

“I don’t know,” John said, sighing, “Just didn’t seem like the guy I grew up with. When I first heard the rumors he’d been swapped out for a Synth, thinking back on that night, I thought it made a lot of sense. But now, I dunno, I don’t think I buy it.” His expression of anger was replaced with something else. Nostalgia? “I’ve seen him since then. No way they copied him that perfectly. Even got his tightass walk.” He laughed. Nate was stoic. “But at the time I just had to get the hell away from him. Him and that whole damned city.” Nate’s expression remained sour, though. 

“He  _ murdered  _ those ghouls,” He had a look of sadness on his face, reaching toward Hancock slightly but stopping himself part way. He looked concerned, staring at Hancock up and down.

“Him and that whole damned city.” He looked back at Diamond City again. “I still wasn’t a ghoul at this point, so I didn’t  _ have _ to leave, but I couldn’t bring myself to stay in that cesspool after that.” The idea surprised Nate a bit. He’d been imaging Hancock as his Ghoulish self through the whole story. It somehow didn’t make it better, though, even without the whole part of one brother turning on another due to his skin texture.

“I’d been sneaking off to Goodneighbor for years to get decent chems, so I knew the safe routes. I managed to track down a couple of families, lead ‘em there, but most couldn’t get use to the Goodneighbor lifestyle. I brought food to them for awhile, but most of them just disappeared. 

“Folks in Diamond City signed their death warrants and all the good people were willing to just sit by and watch. I felt like I was the only one who saw how screwed up things truly were, who couldn’t just pretend things were fine. Still feel that way… Or I did, until I met you,” Hancock looked at him sheepishly, eyes scanning over his face to detect what emotions might spark. He was hopeful. Probably a little too hopeful. “I know I run my mouth,” he continued, “But having someone who sees the world for what it is and is willing to do something about it. Its meant a lot to me. I feel damn lucky to have you as a friend.” Hancock finished his rant, spheal, whatever it was. He was smiling, now though. It felt good to have that off his chest. Nate was his friend. That’s all. His friend, and he was happy to have him. But now, it was Hancock’s turn to be surprised.

“Friends? Is that all we are?” Nate was smirking, eyes narrowed at the ghoul in a way that sent an electric jolt down his spine. 

“Well. now that you mention it, I have been having slightly more impure thoughts than usual,” He remembered the other night, staring at the other man as he tried to sleep, imaging all the things he wanted to do to him, “Maybe we’ll get to, uh… Act on those. Heh.” Nate looked at him and Hancock stared back. His heart was racing more than any Ghoul’s heart should ever. Was this really happening. He half expected Nate to spring onto him right there, and the two of them would make love in the ruins. But Nate didn’t. Nate just grinned that stupid damn grin. “But I guess we should probably head out, huh? After you.” He motioned with his gun and Nate lead the way to whatever cleared out ruin they’d call bed for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its starting to get a little sexy. I'll probably have to bump that rating up a bit soon.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nate and Hancock are strung out in red rocket, chatting about whatever comes to mind. The conversation turns to Nate's pre-war life.

Nate laid on his back, staring at the ceiling of the old Red Rocket with an unreal daze. It felt like hours ticked by, even when it was only seconds. Jet would do that to you. Make you feel like the world was moving about an hour per second. On the couch beside him Hancock lounged, smoking a cigarette and playing with a blister pack of mentats. He had been talking through the entire high but Nate could barely hear him, let alone understand him.  
“... so that's why I think we should just put mentats in their water.” Nate looked startled.  
“Hold on, start from the beginning,” Nate said, sitting up a little. Hancock took a drag of his cigarette and put it out in the ashtray by Nate’s bed.  
“Super mutants, brother,” he went off again, and Nate did his best to listen while shaking off the jet high. Sometimes it was nice just to get high without purpose. Just relax, chill, feel nothing and do nothing. It was one of those days.  
Ever since he admitted his undying friendship for Nate, they had more and more of these nights. Just relaxing, just smoking or chemming or drinking, and forgetting their pain. There would always be the hangover the next day. There would always be the return to the endless missions for the brotherhood, or for Preston, or for this or that. But now, there was nothing but him and Hancock. “That sounds great. Smart and massive. And addicted to water.” Nate joked,  
“No, no, like,” Hancock leaned forward, popping a handful of mentats like fucking candy, “They'll be reasonable then. Maybe they'll even be able be a part of society or some shit. Imagine having that kind of muscle working for the good people.”   
“I dunno. It could be dangerous. Who knows. Maybe some will even get nice like Strong.” Nate chuckled. Milk of human kindness. That shit made him laugh every time he thought about it. “As long as no one tries to taint the water with Psycho,”   
The look on Hancock's face was pure and utter terror. “You on Psycho is scary enough,” he pointed, “I don't want to even imagine a super mutant popping that.” Nate grinned. Scary, huh? He didn't make it a secret about his love for Psycho. The anger. The pain resistance. The pure force. It was so good in the middle of a fight. But it wasn't a drug he ever took recreation ally. Never a reason. Always made him so goddamn hor-  
“Hey, want some?” Hancock stretched his hand out, shaking the blister pack of Mentats. He took it, popped out one, and handed the pack back. Hancock grinned and Nate swallowed the chalky pill with a sip of whiskey. It felt so warm racing down his stomach. So good.   
“Thanks,” Nate remembered his manners, and offered Hancock the bottle. Hancock always looked so damn surprised whenever Nate did that. Did anything that meant sharing as much as a touch. He knew it wasn't something Hancock never witnessed. He watched non ghoul drifters hug him, pat his back, share needles and drinks with him all the time fearlessly. Yet every time Nate offered anything, or as much pat his back, Hancock got this dumb look of surprise on his face like no one ever volunteered to touch him. Maybe it was because Nate wasn't a drifter. Nate probably reminded him of folks in Diamond City. Too clean, too obsessed with being clean. Unlike most travelers, Nate was always scrubbing dirt out of his clothes in the river or boiling water until he had enough to clean his skin without worries about rad poison. Nate knew he looked funny doing it, but cleanliness was the last thing he was willing to give up. 

“What the hell are you doing?” he remembered Hancock asking him as he knelt down by the river, cleaning mud off his boots.   
“Cleaning my shoes..?” Nate had responded, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.   
“Why? They're just going to get dirty again.” Nate didn't think about that. Just how they were dirty now and he had to make them not dirty.  
“Well,” Nate paused, “So they'll look nice.” he said, matter-of-factually. Hancock stared at him, furrowing his hairless brows with such confusion. His lips parted, but when he couldn't come up with a response, he sat next to Nate and started to do the same. The two sat, cleaning their shoes.  
“You know, in an hour or so we're just going to be shoving these in feral's faces and gettin' 'em dirty all over again,” Hancock said.  
Nate smiled, flicking a chunk of mud from the ridges of his boot bottom. “I know,”  
John nodded and they sat there, cleaning their boots until they were nice and clean. 

So it didn't surprise Nate when it surprised Hancock that he was so willing to share something covered in his saliva. Hancock cleaned the mouth of the whiskey before taking a swig, though. Nate did the same. They passed the whiskey back and forth and when it was gone Hancock tossed the bottle into the junk dresser. Nate was pretty sure at some point they stopped bothering to clean the mouthpiece and just left it at that. Not that he cared.  
Hancock rolled his head to the side to watch Nate. Nate looked back at them and for a moment they just laid there, staring at each other. And then they laughed   
They laughed harder then Nate had ever laughed. Or, at the very least, Nate laughed harder than he had since he and Nora were dating. She was a funny woman. Hancock was funny too. Finally, after the two had enough laughing for a lifetime, they just laid side by side with the gap between them just empty floor space, and stared at the ceiling.   
“So. What was the prewar world like for you?” Hancock asked. The question caught Nate off guard.  
“Well,” he looked puzzled. Quite literally, it had been merely months for him since he had lived in that world and it was still hard for him wake up in this one without thinking it a dream. His memories weren't foggy in any sense, but he still felt alarmed by the question. “Well. Uhm. It was nice, I suppose. It took us about an hour to get across boston with traffic, but here it takes us a day. My calves were screaming the first time I had to go from Sanctuary to Diamond City.”  
“Traffic? That’s seriously the only thing you remember from two-hundred years ago? Well. If historians ever need to write papers about traffic then I guess you’re their guy.” Nate laughed, a hand over his chest as if to keep his lungs from jumping out. He coughed a little even.  
“It was a hell of a lot more colorful. Reds and blues and greens were all saturated. I think if you saw it you'd think you were on the best Jet trip of your life,” Nate threw a hand in the air, as if somehow motioning color into the world. “Trees were all bright greens and golds. During the fall they would turn gold and orange, and then the winter looked pretty much how it always does here,”   
“You ever think it's just winter now?” Hancock asked. Nate looked at him,  
“I wonder it all the time. It feels like winter in the evenings, but the mornings are hotter than any summer I've experienced.” He responded. “It's changed a lot. I don't think I could list everything. Cows and deer use to have only one head. Flies use to be the size of the tip of my pinky. Same with mosquitoes and cockroaches.  
“You could just go to a grocery store and buy meat. And that meat definitely didn't give you radiation poisoning. All dogs were generally like Dogmeat. Maybe. Not all dogs, but a majority of dogs. Families lived in the cities without too much fear and the only thing I really remember causing conflict was when the price of milk went up.” Nate laughed at it now. How mundane must it sound.   
“Must be nice,” Said Hancock, “No raiders. No super mutants. No ghouls.”  
“Yeah - wait. No. No, I -”  
“Don't get all fussy,” Hancock smirked at Nate, and Nate’s features relaxed a bit. He rolled on his side to face Hancock, a little smile of his own on his face.  
“I was a vet, before the war.” Nate said.  
“You stitched up animals?” Hancock asked,  
“No,” Nate laughed, “No. A veteran.” he clarified, “I fought overseas for the better half of my 20s. When I came home, I settled down and Nora and I had Shaun.” Nate had a look on his face. A good look. Hancock watched as it quickly turned sour. “Maybe a month or two later, the bombs were dropped and Nora and I were frozen. Last thing I -”  
“Hey man, I didn't mean… I didn't mean to make you drag all this up.” Hancock was sitting up now, looking at him with a sort of sadness. Nate hadn't even realized he was getting misty eyed until Hancock had cut him off. He quickly rubbed his eyes and went on,  
“It’s fine. No, its good. It’s good for me to remember.” Nate stretched his arms behind he head and cradled his head in his hands. “Nora was a law major when I first met her. Mind you, this was before I had even shipped out for training. We went on one date, she insisted she paid, and I knew from that moment on she was the girl for me.” Nate laughed.   
All I gotta do is buy you lunch? Damn Nate, you’re easy. Thought Hancock with a smirk.   
“When I got back, what, five, six years later? I found her again. First thing I did, before even calling my own mother. I-I dunno. I didn’t even know if she remembered me. I purposed to her right there, and for some reason she said yes.” Nate laughed, hand entangled in his hair. He seemed to be getting nervous, shaking a little. Maybe excited? “A week after we got married, she told me she was pregnant. I was not ready for that news.”  
Hancock watched him through the corner of his eye, listening to his story. Nate had such a good life. A warm, comfortable life. A life without monsters and guns and radiation poisoning. A life without him. “Sounds like you had the perfect life. Now you’re stuck here, out of your time.” He said breathlessly. He could hear himself. He sounded upset. Upset. Like he had any right to be upset with Nate for wanting to go back to his good life.  
“Life in the fallout isn't too bad, though.” Nate said quickly, seeming to either ignore or forgive Hancock’s tone, “I use to think ‘I'd give anything to go back,’ but now… now it isn't too bad. Don't get me wrong, I wish more then anything I could have one more day with Nora. I wish I could raise Shaun and see him grow up instead of having years ripped from me. I don't think… he doesn't even know I'm his dad.” Nate cleared his throat, “Sometimes I wonder, if I had been the one to take Shaun into my arms, would I be dead now instead of Nora? Would I have been able to protect him, and all the others?” Nate shook his head, pushing those thoughts away. There wasn’t any point to regret. Not that kind of regret, anyway, “But, life here isn't so bad. I'd have to think hard between choosing this life or that if I even had the choice.”   
Hancock scooched forward on the couch and reached out toward Nate. Before he knew it, he was holding his shoulder tightly, looking straight into his face. Neither of them said anything, just stared at each other.  
“I can't read your mind, John,” Nate said. He meant it to sound joking, but it barely came out as more than a whisper.  
“Well, shit man, if ya did we probably wouldn't be able to look each other in the face.” The implications made Nate’s face turn pink. Hancock just laughed, “You won't get that option. To turn back time, I mean. I just… I-” Nate waited, “I'm glad. Not that all that horrible shit happened to you. That you're here. With me. Traveling with me. Shootin’ shit heads and assholes with me. Talking to me. Doing chems with me - you get the point.” Hancock hung his head. Nate watched him, an ear to ear grin painted on his face.   
“I'm glad I have you as a friend too, Hancock.” Nate responded.  
“Friends? That all we are?”  
They both grinned at each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a few liberties here for Nate's backstory, but I think it fits just fine. I see Nate as about 26, Hancock about 10 years older then him. Say he joined the army about 19-20, give him 6ish years service, maybe a half a year married to Nora.


	8. River Rats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nate and Hancock take a little trip to the river so Nate can clean himself up. Warning: Graphic violence and some major sexual tension <3

“Fucking get down!” Nate grabbed Hancock roughly by the shoulder and pulled him practically on top of himself, diving down below an old, blown out car. Hancock had his face buried in Nate’s chest, cursing and trying to push himself back up. Nate kept him down. Even if Hancock really wanted to escape, he wasn’t sure he could. The man was huge. Massive, even. All muscles. But, he was also on Psycho. He was breathing roughly, keeping quiet until -

Boom. Super mutant  _ suicider _ . Nate cursed under his breath. He let go of Hancock and pushed him off roughly. Hancock didn’t exactly like being manhandled so much. Instead of getting angry at Nate, he took his anger out on the remaining Super Mutant. He aimed, firing a few shotgun shells straight at the bastard. One got lodged in an eye. Fuck yeah. The other missed completely and just ricocheted off some metal siding. And lodged right into the back of one of the nasty asshole’s legs. Fuck yeah.

Nate was screaming passionately, firing bullet after bullet at them.

“Shit,” Nate gasped, adrenaline and drugs pumping through him. He felt impossibly strong. Impossible invincible. And he just shot his last bullet. “Cover me,” He said. Hancock whipped his head around, looking at the massive man as he dropped his gun and pulling out a baseball bat with a few nails hammered through it. Hancock didn’t protest. Nate threw himself around the car, screaming as he ran straight at the bullet crazy beastmen. Hancock did his best to cover while Nate went crazy, hitting it over and  _ over  _ again. He screamed until his voice couldn’t take it anymore, and then screamed some more. Even after the super mutant had long since slouched against the pavement, Nate kept hitting him until Hancock couldn’t even recognize whether or not it had a face at one point. 

Nate was scary on Psycho. But even as he stood, covered in blood, over the very dead Super Mutant, Hancock couldn’t help but be a little  _ turned on. _ It was violent, but kind of sexy. And to think, it was only a few months ago that this guy fell out of the vault, never trained to handle this world. Just picked up a gun and went crazy. Fuck. He could handle himself, alright. More then that.

“Can I approach, or should I wait until you come down?” Hancock shouted over the car. He wasn’t afraid of admitting that he was a little intimidated. Nate turned his head at such a speed, he thought that his neck was going to break. He grinned. There was blood all over his face, neck and shirt and he fucking stood there and grinned like everything was normal.

“Oh, oh I’m good. I think I’m coming down. I gotta clean this shit off me, though.” He motioned to himself. Bloody. Very bloody. “Let’s go over to the river.”

Nate led the way confidently through the ruins with his bloody baseball bat in one hand, and a smug smile on his bloody face worn proudly. Brain matter still dangled from the damn thing. It was gross, but it did keep raiders at a distance. It took them a good amount of time to get there, but when they finally did Nate was definitely down off his high. He felt sore all over, slouching slightly. He yawned, stretched a little, but that stung so he stopped almost immediately. He felt gross. Sticky and gross. He could  _ taste  _ the fucking super mutant blood. It was like dirty pennies that had been sprayed with disinfectant but not actually wiped down. He gagged a little trying to ignore it. The sight of the river was a relief, to say the least. He dropped his bat at the edge and began stripping off his clothes. 

“Are you going to just walk about naked now?” Hancock asked, a tinge of annoyance in his voice. Nate didn’t look at him,

“I gotta get this shit off of me, and like hell am I going to just put my bloody clothes back on. I’ve gotta clean that shit too.” He said as he unlaced his boots, “Don’t worry, I’ll leave my underwear on,” If it were possible to wink with one’s voice, Nate had just done it. He dropped his clothes aside in a pile and stood in his nearly nude glory, before diving right into the water. It was warm, almost like bathwater. It felt so good against his sore muscles.

“You’re going to end up looking like me if you don’t get out of there.” Hancock said, pulling his boots off.

“Water doesn’t bug me, actually,” Nate responded, “I mean, it does if I drink it, but not when it’s just on my skin.” He scrubbed dry blood off his chest the best he could without soap while he spoke. It was true. Radiation didn’t seem to sink into his skin this way, which was a plus for him. He liked water. Hancock snorted, but didn’t contradict him. He just watched, sticking his feet in the warm river water. Nate, meanwhile, washed the blood from his hair, from his face, off his neck and off his chest. Mud came too. It wasn’t long until he felt nice and clean, but he didn’t really want to get out of the water yet either. It felt so damn good against his sore muscles. So, instead, he dragged his clothes, piece by piece, into the river to wash them too. 

“You know, if we could figure out some way to turn you into a ghoul, we could do this for the long haul.” Hancock said, mostly to himself. “Then again, sacrificing your good looks would be a crime against humanity.” Nate smirked at Hancock.

“I dunno, I think I’d make a sexy ghoul.” Nate responded, scrubbing mud out of his vault uniform.

“Then I’d have to compete with you. Can’t have that.”

“I don’t know, Hancock, can you imagine? We’d charm the pants off of the entire commonwealth.” Hancock grinned. Nate did too.

“ _ Damn, _ ” Hancock whispered, causing Nate to finally look up with a questioning gaze. Hancock grinned at him, “You look damn good, you know that right? Fuck. It’s not  _ fair.  _ I bet women throw themselves at you wherever you go.” Nate snorted,

“Stop,” He was blushing a bit, sinking down into the water a little to hide himself. Hancock didn’t  _ want  _ to stop.

“Seriously,  _ brother.  _ I’d kill for -” He paused, “I’d kill to look half as good as you.” He slid his hand down his own chest.

“You do look good.” Nate responded. Hancock was sure he was teasing, but Nate continued, “Sure, you’re not a beauty queen. You don’t have winning  _ complexion  _ but… You’re, uh - Oh geez, how do I say - You’re charming. Sexy.” Oh god. Nate wanted to sink into the water and bury himself in it until he drowned. Hancock’s lips were parted slightly, but he was smirking.

“Those  _ impure thoughts  _ are getting stronger, Nate. If you don’t stop I might not be able to resist them.” Nate moved over to the edge of the river, hands resting on Hancock’s thighs. He felt his wet palms through his jeans. His breath quickened. Oh  _ damn.  _

“Don’t then,” Nate said, lips parted. Hancock stared at his lips. Those lips. They could be his, if he just… Hancock laughed, putting a hand on Nate’s head and pushing him back. Nate fell back into the water. He roared with laughter and splashed Hancock. 

“Hey!” He shielded his face, laughing deep in his chest. He kicked water back at Nate and the two splashed each other until Hancock had gotten into the water, fully dressed and insured he’d be soaked through for the the evening. 

The cold water at night would do him good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short one <3 sorry guys.


	9. Can't hold it in anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hancock has something on his mind, but it seems Nate is just not willing to sit and listen. Finally, moments before bed, he can't hold it in anymore. Hancock finally admits his feelings.

It had been a  _ long  _ day. Since about six, at least according to nate, they had been up and traveling from one settlement to another. Occasionally they would pause, Nate would pop a mentat or two, and then they would carry on their way to wherever they needed to go next. Nate never complained, but Hancock could easily see how tired the vault dweller was getting. Nate yanked his bayonet free from the feral’s face, wiping the blade off in the dirt as best as he could.

“Hey, Nate,” Hancock had something on his mind. Now was probably not the best time, but he had to say something, “I got something I need to tell you-”

“In a bit,” Nate said, “We should get out of this nasty place first.” Nate was probably right, but Hancock wasn’t sure how long he could hold this in. He opened his mouth to protest but Nate just smiled a tired smile and Hancock gave in. 

_ Fine,  _ he thought,  _ But if I don’t soon I’m gonna probably combust or somethin’. _

Nate lead the way, as usual, gun held at his shoulder as they moved through the ghoul territory. Why did it always have to be  _ ferals.  _ It just reminded Nate of the time he had accidently shot Hancock. Guilt boiled in his stomach. He wasn’t sure if he could ever forgive himself for that. He brushed the feeling off the best he could, however, and moved along. Part of him was curious what Hancock was going to say. A bigger part of him was cautious as they moved with only the cover of darkness to protect them from whatever nasties hid in the shadows. They’d be back to the settlement soon, but Nate never liked traveling in the dark much.

Ahead, Nate spotted the glowing lamp lights of the settlement.  _ Good,  _ he thought,  _ I’m exhausted.  _ Hopefully, out of gratefulness, they’d put him and Hancock up for the night. 

“We took care of that Ghoul problem you were having,” Nate practically yawned out to the first settler he spotted still up,

“Oh thank goodness. They were really causing shit. Hope it wasn’t too much of a trouble.”

“No,” Replied Nate, stretching, “It just took a little work.” He noticed the settler staring at Hancock a little nervously. Hancock smiled back.

“We’re happy to help,” Hancock said. The settler’s expression didn’t change.

“We’ll get out of your hair, then,”  _ So much for that idea.  _ Nate waved and headed out and Hancock was close behind. 

“Well, they were sure grateful.” Hancock smirked.

“There doesn’t seem to be much a sense of  _ trust  _ in the Commonwealth this century.” Nate said. Hancock nodded, but the idea of people trusting each other on the Commonwealth… Well, it was simply ludicrous. Nate knew it, but it still frustrated him. He was a veteran for pete’s sake. That use to mean something to people. Now, he could be the Queen of England and people still would give him a sideways glance like he was up to something. Probably because he was a massive man claiming to be the Queen of England. He could at least smirk a little at that.

“We’ll have to find somewhere else to sleep, I guess.” Hancock shrugged.

“I think we passed an abandoned house on our way here. It should do, but it’s probably going to be a little cold.” Nate said. Hancock hadn’t been cold since the day he became a Ghoul, but he understood cold. He scooched a little closer to Nate, a grin painted on his face. 

“I’ll keep you warm, if you like,” He said as charmingly as he could. He expected Nate to laugh, to push him away, but instead Nate closed the gap between them, pushing their shoulders together.

“That’s nice,” He grinned, “Maybe we should just spoon every night. I’ll never need a blanket again.” Hancock laughed, trying to avoid even the slightest twinge of nervousness. He did a good job, considering his heart was beating faster than the average man, let alone the average Ghoul. 

“Hey Nate - “

“Look, there it is!” Nate interrupted. Hancock nearly swore, but held his tongue. He couldn’t be mad at Nate. He didn’t even know what he was doing to him. But god, his heart ached. He had to get this off his chest.

Nate, however, nearly ran to the abandoned building, shoving the door open with such fervor Hancock thought he’d break the door down. Hancock followed after him. By the time Hancock got upstairs, Nate had already collapsed on the bed in the upper bedroom and was letting out a gasp. His armor had been tossed aside, his bag pushed into a corner. Hancock was actually a little impressed how fast Nate had stripped down to his underclothes. He leaned against the door, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You here to cuddle?” Nate asked with a sleepy smirk.

“Maybe,” Hancock responded, “Nate, I know you’re tired, but… Man, I gotta say something. I have to. I can’t hold it anymore.” Nate rolled onto his side and propped himself up hand.

“I’m all ears, Hancock. Is everything alright?” Nate asked.

_ No,  _ Hancock thought,  _ Nothing is right. Not right now. Well. Kinda.  _ He sighed, looking down at his shoes for a moment. He hugged himself a little tighter. He had to get this out. He had to, but suddenly it felt like there was something stuck in his throat. “Oh yeah. Better than that. This is just… Tricky.” He breathed. Nate sat patiently, though. In fact, Nate had sat up a little, listening to Hancock. Somehow, that made it harder. Nate was expecting something from him. “It’s just, being out here with you, it’s made me realize. Most of my life to this point, I’ve running out on the good things I got. I skipped out on my family, my life in Diamond City. Took up with you just to get outta goodneighbor. Hell, running from myself is what made me into… into a  damn Ghoul. 

“But being here with you, for the first time in my life, things have just felt… right. And running, it’s the furthest thing from my mind. I mean, I left Goodneighbor thinking I was gonna just sharpen up the ‘ol killer instinct. But whether it’s fate or destiny or just god damn coincidence, I ended up with someone like you.” Nate’s eyes were widened slightly. He was staring so damn intensely at Hancock. He felt like Nate was trying to blow a hole through him with his eyes. He continued quickly, “I turned one of the nastiest settlements in the Commonwealth into a refuge for the lost. I thought I’d done something I could hang my hat on. But being out here with you, it’s made me realize just how small time I’d been thinking. And that maybe all my running, from my life, myself… maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing after all.”

“Running from yourself? What do you mean?” Nate asked. God, that question was hard to answer. Hancock looked at him, straight into his eyes. He wasn’t going to look away. He was going to look him in the face when he talked. He was going to be honest. It was about time he be honest.

“Well, I mean, I didn’t always look this good.” Hancock grinned a little, “The drug that did this to me, that made me a Ghoul, I knew what it was going to do. I just couldn’t stand looking at the bastard I saw in the mirror anymore. The coward who’d let all those Ghouls from Diamond City die. Who was too scared to protect his fellow drifters from Vic and his boys. If I took it, I’d never have to look at him again. I could put that all behind me. I’d be free. Didn’t seem like a choice at all.” His grin had faded. He looked a little frustrated instead, “Turns out it was just me runnin’ from somethin’ else in my life.” Nate was silent for a long moment, and Hancock nearly continued. But finally, Nate spoke up.

“You may have run, but you always ran for a reason, Hancock.” He wasn’t always great with words, but it felt final leaving his lips. Hancock smiled a genuine smile.

“Been trying to convince myself of that for a long time, but hearing that coming from something like you… I don’t know if you understand what that means to me,” Nate’s eyes softened in a way that could just melt him. He could live inside that feeling, inside those eyes. He motioned his hand, “Lemme get to the point. Throwing in with you has been the best decision I’ve ever made. It’s like I found a part of myself I never realized was missing… which happens somethings when you’re a Ghoul. If I hadn’t taken up with you, I’d probably be in a gutter somewhere, getting gnawed on by Radroaches.” 

Nate didn’t like that image. He had seen ferals collapsed on the ground, barely willing to get up and growl at him when he approached. It was the saddest thing he had seen in this new Boston. It broke his heart. Imaging Hancock like that shattered his heart. 

“You have been one hell of a friend.” Hancock finished, nothing but a smile worn on his face. Nate looked at him. He had pushed himself up to standing, and stepped toward him a little. Hancock’s breath caught in his throat. Nate could literally feel the heat just  _ radiating  _ off of him. He wanted to curl up right next to him and surround himself by the heat.

“Have you ever thought about us as maybe more than just friends?” Nate asked. The question was sudden, shocking both of them. He stood close to him, shoulder curled in toward him, head tilted slightly and eyes locked on his. Hancock wanted to close the gap.  _ Thats a good enough answer, right?  _ But then the dread set in. The fear. That shitty, awful gut feeling. His self worth melted and he stood, skeletal, in front of Nate. He felt completely naked.

“Heh. It that obvious? But come on,” Hancock responded, leaning away from him a little. “You don’t want to wake up to this mug every morning. Never wish that on anyone I cared for.” Nate caught his face with his hand though, pulling him closer. Hancock stared at him. Nate stared back. He ran a thumb over his scarred cheek.

“Who I fall for is my decision.” Nate sounded stern, but the words made him feel like putty in his hands, “And I’ve fallen for you.” Oh.

“Wouldn’t expect that kind of lapse in judgement from you. But I guess that works out for me then, doesn’t it? Heh,” He chuckled. He was shaking. Just a little. He never shook like this before. But Nate wasn’t a just a crush. He was an absolutely fantasy. It didn’t feel real to him. Nate leaned closer, but hesitated just inches from his face. Hancock filled the gap, pressing his rough lips into Nate’s soft ones. 

Nate’s warm breath covered his face. He put his arm around Hancock’s waist, pulling him against his chest. Hancock felt like he was going to die from happiness. The thought felt fucking  _ cheesy.  _ But he loved it. He  _ loved  _ it. 

Nate pulled back, resting his head against Hancock’s forehead. He had pushed his tricorn up a bit, but it stayed on.

“Moments like this, I know all that karma stuff is bull. Because no one like me should be this lucky.” Hancock said, tracing the muscles on Nate’s back. He was pressed so hard against him. “Come on,  _ love.”  _ The word felt good, “Let’s get this freakshow on the road.” He laughed breathlessly. Nate let go, hands resting on Hancock’s shoulders. He slid down, leaving a trail of electric tingles in the wake of his fingers.

“Let’s sleep first.” Nate laughed, “I don’t think I could move another foot if it isn’t toward that bed.”

If Hancock had any doubt about what their relationship was, it melted when Nate didn’t even give him the option to go find another bed. He was pulled toward the mattress on the floor and he didn’t resist. Nate sat down on the mattress and pulled Hancock right down into his lap. Ah. He could purr at that feeling. He didn’t mind being manhandled by Nate. It felt good. It felt like he belonged. Nate laid down. More, Nate collapsed down. He tucked his arm under his head and wrapped his arm around Hancock’s hips, pulling him hard against his body. When they both settled, it felt right. Hancock felt like he belonged. Nate felt like he had something in this wasteland. They both felt safe.


	10. Our First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nate and Hancock have fallen for each other. Now, they decide to do something about it. More then just kisses and cuddles. An inexperienced Nate and self-conscious Hancock make love for the first time.

Nate had not felt the warmth of another curled against him in a long time. Even the memories of Nora felt fleeting in the harsh environment the Commonwealth turned into. So, when Nate started spending his nights curled against Hancock's warm back, massive body quite literally enveloping Hancock, he felt absolutely at peace. He slept warmer. He slept deeper. He had apparently snored sometimes which, according to Hancock, was ‘cute’. The best thing about it, however, was waking up next to him.

Hancock would be resting his head against Nate’s arm, or under his chin, tucked and be-hatted perfectly in the nooks of his body. Sometimes his tricorn would make it through the night, but not this particular morning. Nate would wake with a hand either across his chest or on his hip. It would feel so  _ wonderful.  _ So snug. Sometimes, when Nate woke up, he would just lay there and stare at the back of Hancock's neck. Sometimes he would pepper his scarred skin with kisses until Hancock would finally wake up with a, “I must still be dreaming,” or a “Goodmorning sunshine.” Nate would laugh, they would force themselves out of bed, and then start their day.

This particular morning neither man had gotten much sleep, so Hancock was still sound asleep when the trickle of sunlight had worked its magic as a natural alarm to wake the sole survivor. It never did quite the same to Hancock. Nate liked that. It meant Nate could lay there a little longer and just enjoy the warmth offered through Hancock's hot, radiation laden skin. The Ghoul had won his heart in every way. His bad jokes, his self-conscious yet confident behavior, his good jokes, his sexy smirk and the way he called him every corny pet name he could think of.  _ Sunshine. Pip-boy. Vaultie. Love.  _ He caused Nate butterflies no matter how many days passed. It never got old.

The man’s self esteem was so low. That got Nate too. Nate had no interest in anyone else, yet everytime Hancock looked away and insisted that Nate would somehow get over the ‘novelty’ of their relationship Nate felt that love get stronger. Everytime Hancock called himself ‘ugly’ Nate just loved him harder. Then, Nate would bombard him with loving kisses and hugs until Hancock couldn't get a chance to say anything comprehensive through Nate’s affectionate attack.

He loved him. He hadn’t said it yet, but he loved Hancock. When Nora and Nate first started dating, he got butterflies. But they were so tiny compared to this. With Hancock, it was a storm of butterflies and radroaches fighting each other while trying desperately to bat their wings to freedom. There was no mistake that Nate had loved, and still loved, Nora. She would always be his first. His first love. His first wife. But Hancock would be a bunch of new firsts for him too. The two weren't simply comparable, and Nate would never disrespect either of them to try to. 

Nate leaned forward, putting his lips on Hancock's bare neck. He didn't mind the scars or the other added texture to the Ghoul’s skin. He didn't mind the deep tissue cuts that nearly exposed bone in places, or how starved Hancock had felt under his shirt. He loved to hold that body against his.

Hancock let out a low groan. It rumbled through Nate’s body and sent shivers through his spine. Nate kissed again, a little higher, against his jaw. He explored along Hancock's hips and waist and Hancock let out another groan. But, when Nate’s hands went any further than the outside of Hancock's hips, Hancock stopped him with a quick bat of his hands. It usually ended in Hancock getting up, or finding a less venerable position to cuddle in. But Hancock didn't move this time. Just batted his hands away.

Nate turned Hancock's face toward him with a thumb and planted a long, loving kiss on the other man’s mouth. He could feel him melt in his arms, arch against him and relax. He could feel him twist until he was on his back, and Nate was practically on top of him. Nate deepened a kiss, getting a little more frantic, a little more desperate. With Hancock distracted by the sole survivors tongue, Nate took his chance and slid his fingers under the lip of his shirt. Before he knew it, Nate could feel all kinds of new territory. He touched along taunt skin, ribs, scars and all sorts of other wonderful textures. Hancock let out a cry. A mix of pleasure and surprise with a twinge of fear. Nate didn't pull back. He gave Hancock no reason to think he didn't love every second of exploring him. Finally, Hancock gripped his arm. 

“I -” Nate kissed him. Hancock relaxed a little into the kiss but his muscles were still tight all around. “Nate,” he moaned now. It  _ killed  _ Nate. Hearing that velvet on sandpaper voice moan out his name. 

“Yes?” he whispered. Hancock shuddered.

“I… its - its not a pretty picture. I don't know if we should - “ Nate sat up, staring at Hancock. If Nate’s erection pressed firmly against Hancock's thigh wasn't enough, the man still couldn't seem to see for himself how much Nate wanted him. It seemed he just kept convincing himself the opposite. 

“Hancock,” Nate begun, “ _ John.  _ I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.” he placed a hand on Hancock's chest, then slid it up to his neck where it curled against the bottom of his jaw and rubbed the front of his throat with little circles. “I wish you could see what I saw. You act tough, but you're  _ compassionate.  _ You're funny. You're  _ sexy.  _ Fuck,” Nate breathed, “I've wanted you since we met. I didn't care if you were a  _ Ghoul _ . The way you looked at me, the way you smirked.” Nate purposely left out the stabbing incident, “I hadn't met a man yet who seemed to take the world so lightly. It was comforting. In Goodneighbor you held yourself so high. Others loved you,  _ worshipped you _ . And yet you still sit here, in front of me, telling me you don't think yourself  _ worthy _ . Hancock,” At this point, Hancock was breathing heavily. He had his eyes locked on Nate’s. “If you had any idea how good you look to me. I don't think you would have a care in the world.” 

“Nate,” Hancock was grinning despite himself, staring up at him with wrinkled eyes and burning cheeks. “I'm too sober for this sappy shit. Just  _ take me  _ already.” 

Nate didn't need anything more than that. But now, Hancock sat up, pulling Nate into him. Hancock was no longer just idling by. No longer passively letting Nate do whatever. He was aggressive now. For a lack of a better word,  _ feral.  _ He smashed his lips against Nate’s roughly but the kiss quickly transformed into a passionate and loving one. No longer subservient, Hancock pulled Nate’s shirt up, only breaking from the kiss to make it over his head. He tossed it aside and pressed himself close, yet let plenty of room for him to explore Nate’s now exposed chest. His finger rolled over his nipple, up and across his clavicle and then down his sternum. He lingered above his navel, massaging his fingers over the taunt ab muscles. Nate panted like a dog. This was all new, and all exciting. He bucked his hips desperate and Hancock's fingers finally dropped and rested on the bulge in his underwear. Nate gasped.

Precum had already leaked through the thin material, wetting a spot where Hancock's thumb traced over it. Before he knew it, Hancock had Nate pressed on his back. Nate didn't resist. Especially as Hancock started trailing kisses down his bare chest. Hancock's greedy fingers pulled desperately at the elastic band. He exposed Nate, wrapping his textured hand over the raw flesh of his shaft. Nate whimpered at the feeling. It had been so long since he felt anyone but himself touching his cock. Hancock kissed his inner thigh, rubbing his shaft with the slowest pumps. Nate was desperate for more. Lucky for him, Hancock was also a very impatient man. 

Hancock ran his tongue up his shaft, swirled around the head and kissed the tip. The feeling sent jolts through Nate, but he did his best to hold still. He had propped himself up on his elbows to watch the Ghoul handle him so  _ expertly.  _ He watched himself fill Hancock's mouth. He felt tingles rush through him. Tingles and jolts. Electricity.  _ Lightning _ . 

Hancock pulled himself back, and Nate realized how warm it was inside his mouth because the cooling air practically caused him to shiver. He whimpered, grabbing towards Hancock's head frantically. The mayor was out of reach, though. He straddled Nate now, touching himself under his clothes. Nate wanted to be the one to be touching. He whined desperately. However, he didn't have to watch for long. Hancock pulled himself free and Nate took the image in. Gnarled, like the rest of him, but otherwise about average. Nate’s was a tad thicker, but they were both about the same length. That texture, though, did wonders when Hancock pressed their cocks together and started to pump them simultaneously.

Nate moaned, mind lost to the feeling of primal pleasure. He gripped the mattress below him. He tried to get some sort of hand hold just to keep him from going mad. Hancock watched him, quickening his pace for a second before slowing back down. Nate gasped. “F-fuck,” he whined. 

“That's what I'm  _ doing _ , love.” he bent down to kiss Nate, and Nate sat up a little to meet him.

“I don't think you're playing fair.” Nate kissed his neck and tickled his jaw with his lips as well. He pushed his hands under Hancock's shirt, starting to lift. The other man hesitated for a moment, before finally releasing their throbbing members long enough for Nate to pull his jacket free and his shirt up and over his head. 

“Just don't say I didn't warn - “ Nate cut him off with another passionate kiss, that silencing him for now. Finally, Nate gazed upon what was  _ his.  _ Hancock's flesh didn't surprise him. Gnarled, scarred, with deep gashes where skin should be and bone poking out wherever there might be a place for it to do so. He had broad shoulders and a skinny torso.  _ Skeletal,  _ thought Nate, though Hancock wasn't without muscle. He was just rather on the  _ lean  _ side. Nate stared for a long moment and neither of them moved despite both men rather hard. Hancock said nothing, but the look in his eyes. Passion. Nerves. Anxiety. Lust. Love. It was hard to pinpoint which emotion was the strongest.

“Nate..?” Hancock's voice startled Nate. How long has he just been staring?

“John Hancock,” Nate sounded breathless, but he managed to get a few words out. Important words. “ **_I love you,_ ** ”

Hancock grinned. Whatever final worries that lingered were melted away. He sprung forward, wrapping himself around Nate. He had one knee up against Nate’s side. His other leg wrapped up with Nate’s. Nate fell back in surprise against the ratty mattress. He felt hips against his neck. Against his chest. All over. He closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling. Everywhere Hancock trailed his lips, a wake of warmth was left.  _ Lingering radiation _ , he thought. Hancock's lips found Nate’s cock again and slowly made it up his shaft. Nate gasped, springing up half way. He watched Hancock swirl his tongue over the head of his dick. Hot. Really  _ hot.  _ Both sexually and in temperature. Fuck. He resisted the urge to buck his hips. Twice now, Hancock was exploring him with his mouth. 

Nate suddenly sat up, pushing Hancock up. He kissed him. He put his hand over Hancock’s cock, pumping his wrist hard and fast. The ghoul’s eyes widened, letting out a desperate gasp. His cock felt strange in Nate’s hand. He had never… he had never touched someone else's. Never felt a man in his hands. Nate pumped again. The same twitching reaction. 

Hancock's tongue was exploring his mouth. Nate’s face felt wet, saliva mixing with the ghoul’s. He kissed his chin. He kissed his ear. Hancock kissed his neck and jaw. He pressed his mouth against the hot muscle of Nate’s neck and started to sucking gently. Nate had them both in his hands now and was in charge with pumping their throbbing erections. Hancock sucked hard against his skin. It felt so juvenile - but maybe that's why it was so  _ thrilling. _ He felt like a teen again. All the excitement, none of the frustration.

Hancock hadn’t seen it coming until Nate’s mouth was already closed over the head of his cock. Nate wanted to taste it, to feel it drag against his throat. He was so new to this but he wanted to hit the ground hard and fast. He felt it fill his mouth, touch his tongue. He couldn’t get it in far before choking. He’d work on that. For now, he sucked on the tip, running his tongue over it. He had no idea what he was doing, if he was even doing it  _ right.  _ But the look on Hancock’s face when he looked up told him whatever he was doing, it was hitting all the right spots. Hancock slid his hand over Nate’s neck, pressing against the back of his head. Trying to deepen. Nate wanted to  _ please  _ him. He tried to go deeper and found that it was starting to get easier. He just hoped Hancock didn’t buck too hard. 

The taste was unexpectedly good and very warm. Hancock was panting. He was gripping at Nate’s hair. At Nate’s back. He was looking for something to hold onto. The ride was getting rough. It was getting a little twitchy and the speed was picking up. It was better than any high Nate had experienced while with Hancock. It was better than any chem in existence. The lust. The love. The high. 

“Fuck! Fuck- Nate.” Hancock gasped. His breathing was getting ragged. Unexpectedly, He pushed Nate off of him. “I’m gonna -” Nate licked his lips, gripping Hancock’s cock tightly.  _ Maybe a little too tight.  _ He loosened his grip, giving him a few more pumps. Hancock smashed his lips into Nate’s as his cock exploded over the vaultie’s hand. It was quick and messy. Nate didn’t mind. He liked it. More than he thought he would. Nate was panting when Hancock drew his mouth back. He could still taste the Ghoul’s tongue. But there was still the matter of Nate’s own cock. It twitched dangerously. 

Hancock rocked forward on his hips slightly, touching Nate’s thigh. Nate moved to put his own hand over his cock but Hancock knocked his hand away. The large man whimpered like a kicked puppy. Hancock ignored the sound, or perhaps got a thrill off of it. He kissed along Nate’s neck and jaw, fingers barely brushing across Nate’s tip. Just enough to send a jolt through him, not not enough to  _ satisfy him.  _

“Beg me,” Hancock whispered at his ear. The sound of his voice so close made a shiver run through his whole body. It wasn’t enough. 

“Beg?” Nate wasn’t sure how. He had never begged for anything in his life. “Beg? I - please?” He said the word awkwardly. Not in the sexy way Hancock probably was looking for.

“You can do better than  _ that,  _ sunshine. Beg me to touch you. You want it don’t you?”

“Please,” Nate tried to say it a little more desperately. “Fucking please. Touch me,” He whined. He was getting into it. Really getting into it, “Touch me. I need it, please Hancock. Please. Fucking  _ please touch me, _ ” He begged. He felt Hancock’s hot breath against his ear. He chuckled. Another  _ tremble _ rocked through his body. 

Hancock wrapped his fingers slowly around Nate’s cock. He moved slowly, pumping slowly. So  _ slowly.  _

“Faster.” Nate gasped. Hancock had let go. Why? Why would he let go?

“Faster,  _ what? _ ” Hancock asked.

“Faster,  _ please. Please. _ ” Nate whined. Hancock smirked. He apparently decided he had enough torturing Nate because he started to pump him again, but much faster. Hancock’s hand was wet with something. His own cum? God he was using his cum to-

Nate panted, eyesight getting hazy. He stared at himself throbbing in the gnarled hand of his companion. Faster, he pumped. He closed his eyes. Nate was going to fucking cum. He was so fucking  _ close.  _

Nate felt Hancock’s lips around his cock again. When did that happen? He opened one eye to watched as Hancock expertly sucked and tongued, using his hand to make up for the distance he couldn’t make with his throat.

“I’m gonna -” Nate tried to warn him, but the words came out too late. His cock pulsed and twitched in Hancock’s mouth and Hancock swallowed greedily. Every last drop. Nate felt drained, spent and sucked dry. He collapsed back on the mattress. When Hancock pulled back, Nate’s cock laid on his stomach, cleaned up by the Ghoul’s mouth. Aftershocks still had Nate’s body in their grip. More than he had ever felt. He didn’t have to wait long until Hancock collapsed next to him. He had cleaned himself up already. He had his lips resting on Nate’s shoulder, arms wrapped around Nate’s torso.

Hancock looked so small lying there next to him. The other man wasn’t exactly shorter than Nate, and if he was it would only be by a few centimeters. But at this angle, and where he had fallen, he looked so small. Nate ran his fingers over the twisted flesh on the top of Hancock’s bald head. He ran his fingers down the scars and let the trail lead him to the back of Hancock’s neck where they retired sleepily. They had only woken up maybe an hour or two ago, but Nate didn’t want to move. He didn’t feel like starting his day up. He felt like lying right here until the world ended again. Maybe this time, the radiation would turn Nate into a Ghoul so they could spend the rest of forever curled up just like this.

“I love you,” Nate said for the second time that day.

“I love you too,” Hancock replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I've officially bumped up the rating of this story. Nate and Hancock have done it. They've fallen for each other's personality and bodies. 
> 
> I'll still update this from time to time but this is the end of the frequent updating!


	11. Outta bullets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hancock and Nate go on a mission for the brotherhood. Turns out, they should have brought more ammo. However, Hancock has an idea to get Nate a little more inspired.

Hancock had a distinct smell. Something of a mix of blood, a sort of acidic burnt smell and vanilla coffee. Nate had his head buried in the Ghoul’s chest, surrounded by that smell. It had a calming effect on him. It melted away the world and let him hide inside it. 

“God, you smell good.” Nate groaned. He could feel Hancock chuckled, his chest shaking and his sternum vibrating against his forehead. 

“Huh. Not the usual thing you hear in the Commonwealth. How high are you?” He asked. Nate grinned.

“So high. My drug of choice is  _ love. _ ” He could barely get the sentence out without practically choking on it.

“Oh god.” Hancock groaned, “Please for the love of…” he pushed a Jet inhaler into Nate’s face to shut the sole survivor up.

They were lounging in the red rocket. Nate had gotten rid of the other bed. And why wouldn't he? Hancock wouldn't want to spend his nights anywhere but right next to Nate. Instead he put in a larger couch that both of them were currently occupying. Nate was on his stomach, laying with his head halfway down Hancock's chest. Hancock wore his jacket and his hat, but not much else. He had gotten to the point where he could feel a bit more natural being a little more nude around his lover, but still kept the shelter of his frock coat and hat on. Nate didn't seem to mind.

Nate’s lips wrapped around the mouthpiece of the Jet inhaler. He smirked while he did so, looking up at Hancock with those perfect, undamaged prewar eyes. He depressed the Jet and Nate breathed it in, pulling the chem into his lungs.  He closed his eyes, letting it settle inside. As soon as the inhaler left Nate’s lips, Hancock was kissing him. For all ten seconds of Nate’s high, he kissed him. When he pulled back, Nate looked like he was going to cry. 

“What's wrong?” Hancock sounded more panicked than he meant to.

Nate kissed his chest.

“That felt so good,” he laughed quietly. Hancock pulled another Jet inhaler, fumbling with it for a moment before putting it to his chapped lips. Nate was kissing his chest as he took his hit. The world slowed. He watched as Nate peppered kisses all over. He must have been moving quickly, because he got in probably fifteen to twenty kisses in before the ride ended. He wanted to feel good like this forever.

“What's on our radar today, Natey-o?” He asked. Nate giggled at the bizarre nickname.

“Well, I've got some orders from Rhys to clear out a building in the ruins.” Nate responded, popping a mentat. Hancock dragged his fingers across Nate’s muscle laden back. 

“Alright. Any info on what we're clearing out?”

“Nope. As always.” Nate responded, “ _ Super mutants, bandits or ghouls.” _

_ “ _ Oh my,” Hancock added with a laugh. Nate kissed along Hancock's neck lazily while rubbing circles into the Ghoul’s side. He felt so warm. So fucking warm. “Careful, Nate. According to the Brotherhood, I'm a big scary  _ monster.  _ I could go feral any second.” he bared his teeth. Nate kissed them and Hancock laughed more. “God, I hate them.”

“They pay consistently, at least.”

The got up at that. Nate pulled his clothes and armor on, shaking himself more awake. He felt a firm  _ smack  _ on his ass and grinned sheepishly at Hancock.

“You  _ beast.”  _ he said, expressing mock shock.

“ _ He's a doll, _ ” Sang Hancock in response. They laughed.

 

Hancock and Nate sang to the radio the whole way there. Sometimes they even recited word for word Travis’s repetitive news stories. Hancock was confident with his speaking voice, so singing didn't seem to bother him. His high notes were breathy, his lows were scratchy, but he didn't have a care in the world. Nate loved seeing him happy.

“Oh, I'm the type of guy who will never settle down. Where pretty girls are well, you know that I'm around!” They sort of walk-danced together, bouncing from foot to foot with no rhythm what-so-ever. Fuck looking funny to strangers - they looked funny to themselves and it was  _ awesome _ .  

“...  _ they  _ call me the wanderer. Yeah, the wanderer! I roam around around around,” the men threw their arms around each other's shoulders. Singing in the middle of the ruins didn't exactly make for the safest method of travel, but neither Nate nor Hancock seemed to give a shit either way.

“Shut the  _ fuck  _ up!” a bullet ricocheted off the broken pavement at their feet. Hancock looked up but Nate sang louder, dodging behind a building. He got on his belly, resting his sniper against his shoulder. The enraged raiders were now dumping bullets at them. Hancock had a hard time keeping a straight face, or even a straight gun when Nate didn't even drop a note as he fired bullet after bullet.

“Janie is the girl with that I'll be with tonight, and when she asks me which one I love the best, I tear open my shirt I got  _ Johnny _ on my chest,” Nate winked at Hancock, and Hancock  _ bellowed  _ in laughter. 

The raider’s didn't last long. By the time the song ended, so did the raider’s bullets. Nate moved to Hancock and once they met they were on each other. Their lips found their homes and their tongues flicked at each other like striking snakes. Fuck. Nate could take him right there. He pulled back, though, giving him a peck on the cheek before heading back on the road.

“Almost there.” Nate said,

“That wasn't it?” Hancock pouted, “I'm gonna need some  _ jet  _ after this.”

“Nah. Just a few raiders? Rhys wouldn't waste us on that.” Nate had switched out to a shotgun. His sniper wasn't exactly efficient out in the ruins. He had learned from the master that a shotgun did great, and when it didn't a swift elbow to whatever face he was fighting would usually pick up the slack. He had seen Hancock do the maneuver hundreds of times. When Nate asked him about it he was happy to teach him. Simple and efficient.

“ _ Fuck me.  _ Super mutants.” Hancock hissed. Nate noticed the massive bloody sacks too. He was tempted to rummage through them. 

_ Maybe on the way out,  _ Nate thought, cocking the gun in his hands. Hancock and he quietly approached. Nate had silenced his radio and crouched down just low enough to hide from immediate sight. Hancock wandered a few feet away.

“Silence like this ain't natural…” he whispered.

Nate held his breath.

“HUMAN!” The scream of the first Super Mutant shook the whole ruins. Hancock shot blindly into the direction of the sound and missed. While he took a moment to line his second shot up Nate fired both of his. The super mutant jumped from the second floor of the ruin, landing with a resounding thud as his feet hit the ground. Nate shoved bullets into the shot gun as quickly as he could, nearly dropping the second bullet as he did so. The mutant advance, but a bullet into its massive arm tore its attention from Nate to Hancock,

“Oh shit.”  Hancock took a few quick steps back, loading his gun as the super mutant charged at him with a board. Nate fired.

Two bullets. Back of its fat head. The first blew half its skull off. The other took care of the rest. The behemoth fell, face down, at Hancock's feet. They met eyes and grinned.

“Get the human!” Nate whipped his head around, jamming two bullets into his gun. Hancock took cover from rain of bullets now upon them.

There were two more Super Mutants guarding the building. One was covered in blood from a meat sack, the other had a machine gun.

_ Fuck that,  _ thought Nate. He grabbed a grenade from his belt and pulled the pin free with his teeth. He threw it at their feet and watched. The bloody one took a step forward, having not even noticed the small explosive. Until his toe rolled over it. He looked down.

And blew up.

Hancock cheered from a few feet away. Nate grinned and watched the smoke as it cleared. Bloody mutant was knocked off his feet. Foot. The other was blown to smithereens. Nate was confident he wasn't getting up. However, bloody mutant had taken the most of the attack. Bruised and bleeding, machine gun was still standing. And firing. Nate dodged down to avoid losing an eye. Or a limb. Or his life. He thought about readying another grenade, but no way was the mutant strong enough to warrant that. Instead, he waited.

When the bullets stopped, he twisted. Apparently in sync with Hancock because they both fired four bullets at once. The now carcass exploded from the chest and the super mutant flung back onto the pavement. Nate huffed from his chest.

Hancock pulled out another inhaler from his jacket, leaning against the ruin and huffing it in. Nate hungrily moved to him and Hancock bent forward, exhaling right into Nate’s mouth. The high wasn't half as strong, but it still left Nate dazed for a moment. He leaned slightly into Hancock and the Ghoul hugged him around the waist. They stood like that for a good thirty seconds before the daze really cleared enough for both of them to continue.

**“** Alright, let's go kick some ass.” Nate slammed some bullets in his gun and closed up the chamber. 

A trail of blood smeared on the ground was the welcome matt to the tall building. Nate couldn't quite remember what this place use to be, but whatever it was it sure didn't look like a butchershop.

“Shit. The stench in here could be enough to burn what remains of my nose right off,” Hancock scowled. He wasn't wrong, though. It really stunk it there. A nasty combo of all the grossness that went in and came out of super mutants. Nate tried not to gag while wrapping a bandana he took off a raider’s corpse around his face. It helped a little. Very little.

Hancock didn't have a drug that would dull their senses enough to ignore the stink, but he dug around for something. Med-x would make them numb, but still left them functioning. Buffout wouldn't do it. Mentats would probably just make him more aware of it. Jet was too short. 

“What's up?” Nate asked. He was quietly unlocking a lock box on his knees.

“Nothing. Distracting from the smell.” Nate looked up, as if something had only just crossed his mind. He dug into his bag, offering Hancock another bandana. He smiled and took it.

“And cover up this beautiful mug? Well. If you insist.” he tied the bandana around his face. Nate went back the the lock. The box clicked.

“Nice,” Nate breathed.

Apparently that was enough. A scream alerted them to the suicide mutant hurdling at them. Nate threw himself aside and Hancock rolled behind a wall. The mutant exploded right on top of safe Nate had  _ just  _ cracked.

“Fuck you, shit head.” Nate sighed. He could hear more mutants coming. 

“Get ready,” Hancock slid against the wall, breath caught in his throat. Nate peeled his eyes off of him, to focus on his gun. He took a deep breath.

 

Bullets showered over them, but for the most part the two of them kept safely under cover. A few grazes and lots of bruises. But, there was a problem.

“Shit! I'm out of ammo,” Nate swore, putting his gun down. He was even out of .38s. Not that the pipe pistol actually stung hard enough to do any real damage. Hancock rolled down to the floor, panting.

“Me too,” he said. They both sat there silently for a moment. How long until the mutants got impatient and started to hunt them. Nate dug out a bottle of whiskey from his bag and popped the lid. He drank generously before handing it to Hancock.

“I've got one grenade, a mine, and a switch knife.” Nate said quietly.

“Mm. I've got a ‘cocktail and… drugs.” he grinned at Nate. He still managed to find humor in this very bad, very dangerous moment.

“Mm gimme something,” Nate said, looking through a crack in the door. The bullets had stopped, and the mutants were looking for them. Not very well. Thank god they were stupid. Nate turned just in time to see Hancock  straddle him. “What’re you-”

“Shh…” Hancock held a finger to his grin. Nate obeyed, shutting his mouth. He watched as Hancock quietly started to grind against him. He couldn't feel much through his layers, but it aroused him still. Hancock kissed him and Nate melted into him. Fuck. That was nice. He fought the urge to moan, to make a noise louder than a controlled breath. Hancock explored his neck with his tongue and teeth, nipping the muscle hungrily. His fingers touched the nape of Nate’s neck and crawled down his perfect, human spine.

Nate was, to put it lightly, ripped. Between soldier hood, and constant fighting in the Commonwealth, he had to be fit to survive. Nate wasn't just fit, though. He was strong. His biceps were easily the diameter of Hancock's forearm and thigh put together. Maybe even bigger. Hancock loved to feel then under his tight clothes. He loved to feel Nate under those clothes.

“Stand up,” Hancock whispered into his ear. Like a good soldier, Nate followed his command, standing up once Hancock got off his lap. Now he stood in front of a kneeling Ghoul licking his jowls like a hungry animal. Nate pushed his hat back a little, teasingly running his textured jaw and cheek. Hancock kissed along Nate’s thighs. He kissed right above his now hardened member. He kissed everywhere but where Nate wanted him to. He stifled a needy whimper and traded it for a desperate grab at Hancock's face. Finally, his lover planted a kiss on his cock through his clothes. He followed it by slowly unbuttoning his jeans and unzipping. It was agonizingly slow. He pulled Nate free from the prison of his underwear and for a moment just admired his fleshy piece. It twitched and strained from neglect. Hancock smirked. He was on his knees in front of the sole survivor, face inches from his cock, and he had all the power in the world over him. They both knew it.

“Shit, you're sexy,” Hancock breathed. Nate could feel his hot breath crawling across his flesh. He leaned forward, kissing the tip of Nate’s dick. His skin was so  _ fucking  _ warm. His tongue followed, flicking over the bottom of it and dragging down to the base. Nate stifled another moan, covering his mouth with his left hand. His other was resting on Hancock's hat.

Hancock trailed kisses back up to the tip where he lingered for just a moment before taking it into his mouth. It felt like hot like fire. His saliva was practically  _ boiling.  _ It burned so good. He knew that the feeling was caused by rads. He knew that the heat was probably poisoning him. But he didn't care. It felt  _ amazing. _ Nate rolled his head back.

And then it stopped. Nate nearly protested before remembering that he had to be quiet. Instead he looked down at Hancock with a questioning look. The ghoul was tucking him back into his underwear.  _ Why. _

Hancock stood, pressing his body against him. Nate could feel how hard he was too. He leaned to the sole survivor’s ear,

“First, we survive this shit. We get out alive. We kill these assholes. Then,” he rutted against Nate, and Nate had to keep himself from crying out, “We get to finish. One last thing,” Hancock took something out of his coat. It looked like a mess of strapped together container that all flowed into one syringe. “I like you crazy. But you’re gonna need your wits about you too. Consider this a little pick-me-up.”

Nate trusted Hancock, but usually he was told what drugs he was about to be injected with. Hancock had pulled Nate’s sleeve up and, after removing his belt, used it to tighten around his upper arm. Nate relaxed through the process, closing his eyes and just letting Hancock expertly work his veins. The belt released and whatever he was injecting into him flowed in easily.

Nate recognized the effects of Psycho right away. Rage. Pure rage. But there was something else. Smart rage? It hit him.  _ Psychotats.  _ He let out a yell, not caring who heard.  _ Make em come to me. I’ve got an idea.  _ He looked around. There.

“Help me,” He said, grabbing the corner of a large metal desk. Hancock didn’t question it. They grabbed the desk and moved it as quickly as they could. Nate directed him to help him use to to block the other entrance. He only wanted mutants coming in one way. The moment the desk was in place, he moved quickly to the other door, kicking it open. The noise would lure them right into his trap. Final piece. He placed a plasma mine at the entrance and quickly moved back. He sat on the desk and watched. Hancock had an idea himself, and pulled his molotav from his jacket. Nate grinned. Good idea.

Two mutants burst in at once, but before they could trigger Nate’s trap, Hancock threw the molotav at their feet. The fire exploded over the narrow door way, catching the armor and cloth of the giants.

“Fire!” Screamed one mutant. The other ignored him and kept charging. The fire got to the mine before the Mutant. Nate covered his face and neck, feeling the room shake as the mine went off. Smoke and embers filled the space where the mutants had been just a moment before. When it cleared, it was clear to the two of them that they had been successful. Two down. He could still hear another one screaming. Knife and grenade. Knife and grenade… Nate grinned.

Hancock covered him the best he could without bullets. It mostly included throwing rocks and rubble through cracks in the wall, confusing the dumb fuck as to their location.

“Show yourself! COWARDS!” The mutant screamed.

Nate popped up, “I got it. I need you,” He grabbed Hancock roughly, pulling him away from the wall.

“Hey asshole- don’t just yank me around.” Hancock yelped. Nate didn’t apologize. His brain was running so fast. So hot.

“How good are you at dodging bullets?” He asked. Hancock stared at him.

“I dunno, I think I’ve still got a scar from that time you-”

“I need you to run out there, keep his fire off me for just a moment. I love you.” He kissed Hancock hard on the face. Hancock stared at him. Nate was asking him to risk  _ death.  _

“I dun know Nate.” He said after a moment, “This sounds stupid. You sure you know what you’re doing?” Nate nodded. His pupils were pin holes, his breath ragged. “You better.” Hancock took a deep breath, kissed Nate, and moved over to the door. He breathed. He could tell Nate was getting impatient. Rage was still boiling in his skin. Alright. Ready. Go. Go. Gogogog _ogogog_ -

Hancock ran out, immediately finding cover behind a fallen chunk of ceiling. “Hey asshole. Over here!” He shouted. He glanced over to see what Nate was doing, but he couldn’t see him. “Uh,” He looked at the mutant. The mutant was looking at him.  _ Shit.  _ Bullets. Lots of them. Flying at him. He hid behind the ruins of the building. Hancock shouted taunts, but he couldn’t even hear himself over the mutant’s screaming. He peaked over the rock. He could see Nate now. He was couched, sneaking up behind the mutant. Something was gripped in his hand.

Suddenly, Nate sprung. He shouted as he did so, causing the mutant to turn around. Nate had tied his knife to the grenade. He stabbed the knife into the mutant’s face. The monster screamed something awful. Nate jumped off. Something was in his hand… a string? Hancock watched as he yanked the string. It was attached to the grenade, pulling it’s key free.

“Boom, bitch,” Nate grinned.

The grenade exploded, tearing the mutant’s face apart. Hancock actually felt kinda bad for it. Almost. But Nate and he were alive. Nate ran toward Hancock and practically took him down with the bearhug.

“You’re gonna break me, Nate,” Hancock gasped, laughing nervously. They lived. Nate was starting to come down, too. His eyes were relaxing, his muscles were less tense. Good. Hancock went back to the room they were in before, pulling his belt off the ground and putting it back on. While he was focusing on it, Nate was digging through trying to find any scrap they could get.

“Med-x here.” Nate said, “Buffout… are we in a hospital?” He looked around. They weren’t. Nate looked back down, “Caps. Nuka-colas. Good stash here.” He filled his pockets, and when he ran out of pockets he filled Hancock’s. “Let’s get out of here. You promised me something,” Nate slipped his pinky down Hancock’s pants a little, using it to tug him closer. Hancock laughed, kissing Nate along the neck. 

The two escaped, carefully taking the safe routes out of the ruins. They were quiet this time. Nate kept his radio off. They slipped through going unseen and hiding whenever a noise too loud to just be a radroach hit their ears. They made quick time, deciding last minute they would spend the night in Goodneighbor.

“Meet me at the Hotel Rexford. I’m gonna rent us out a room.” Hancock said as Nate made a beeline to pawn his shit off to Daisy. Nate looked at him,

“Why don’t you just wanna stay at The State House?” He asked. They had before.

“‘Cause,” Hancock looked back at Nate, eyes wandering down his chest, “Hotels offer the kind of privacy the State House could never. Plus, every time I walk in there, Fahrenheit complains at me for not doing enough ‘mayoral duties’. See you soon buttercup. Oh, and-” He pulled a heavy bag out from his coat and tossed it to Nate. “Sell these off for me. Buy us some  _ good shit. _ ” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops! I made a two parter. I know I said I wasn't going to update too often now, but I got inspiration while playing for this quite a long time ago and I knew I had to get beyond their first sex scene to do it. Think of it as a little bonus smut. Next chapter will be out soon.
> 
> Another note:  
> I got a really lovely comment on my last chapter! Thank you so much, it really made me happy to read that! I hope you like these chapters too <3


	12. The Best High

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nate and Hancock get a room at the Rexford to celebrate surviving the super mutant fight.

Nate had gotten away with a baggie of goodies. A bottle of Day Tripper, some Calmex, a few med-x syringes. Buffout, too. Not that they needed that to chill, it was mostly just for him later. Something a little less heavy than Psycho. Of course he also got a bunch of jet. Their shit traded in for a good amount of money. He barely had to pay out of pocket. Nate was making his way towards Hotel Rexford, bag tucked under his jacket. He definitely didn’t need to flash his prizes around in this town. Then again.

Since he started traveling with Hancock, no one in Goodneighbor said a bad word to him. Those who did usually ended up dead, or seriously intimidated by the major who was always around a corner. Since they started seeing each other, even those folks kept quiet. Not that the people in Goodneighbor were all either scared or angry. A lot of them liked Nate. The older residents praised Hancock for such a ‘handsome man’, and some of the younger ones made jokes about Hancock abusing his power to lure in ‘smoothskins’ for sex. Nate would laugh, but the comments made him a little… uncomfortable? He didn’t like being objectified. He could finally understand why Nora complained about it so much.

Nate came up to the doors of the Rexford. His heart pounded. He didn’t know why he felt so nervous. It wasn’t his first time with Hancock. Yet somehow, here in  _ his  _ town, he felt powerless. At least before he had some kind of equal ground, even if Hancock held the title of Mayor. Here he was in his terf. In his territory. It made him a little nervous. A little a lot nervous. He stepped inside. The old lady at the front desk looked up at him. She smiled and Nate smiled back. She didn’t smile often.  _ That  _ made him nervous too. “Upstairs, last room on the right.” She said. Nate couldn’t remember her name. Instead he just smiled and nodded, heading up.

He walked down the hallway, making himself look as big as he could. Drifters watched him step by the doorways that were open. Some were too high to even focus on him. Others laughed and commented on him. Nate felt like he was going to collapse. He kept going, right to that door at the end of the hall. It was closed. Nate knocked.

The door opened almost immediately. Hancock smiled at him, hat tilted back. He almost looked taller than Nate in that moment. Maybe that’s how he worked. Once he stepped into Goodneighbor he magically got taller, smarter, and even more charismatic. Nate smiled. Hancock grabbed his arms, yanking him into the room and slamming the door behind him.

Nate was pressed on his back on the bed much faster than he expected. He stared up at the mayor.

“I got some-” Hancock cut him off with a hard kiss. Nate got the picture - silence. He shut his mouth. Hancock took the bag of goodies from him, placing them on the nightstand. Hancock straddled Nate’s hips while he undid his belt. Hancock liked to tease Nate, but he was also a very impatient man. And they had been waiting quite a long time. Nate dragged his fingers across Hancock’s stomach as the ghoul lifted his shirt off. Every time Hancock shed his clothes Nate would find himself getting lost tracing over the deep scar tissue that stretched over his skeletal frame. Nate touched his chest and rubbed his thumb over the ghoulish man’s sternum. Hancock paused for a moment to let Nate do so. He seemed to melt at the touch almost. Loose that dominant need for just a moment. Melt like ice over Nate’s warm touch, though Nate was sure that his touch could only feel cool against Hancock’s hot skin.

“I love you too,” Hancock said softly. Nate tilted his head, “Earlier. You said you loved me. I didn’t want to say anything cause.. Cause I didn’t want it to sound final. So. I love you too.” He leaned down, kissing Nate’s cheek. Nate breathed softly, but Hancock could hear how fast his heart was beating. He pulled back. Nate’s pupils were so dilated. He could practically see himself reflected in those dark pools.

“I love you too, too,” Nate’s face spread into a goofy grin and Hancock couldn’t help but match it.

“Let’s get you out of those dirty clothes.” He whispered.

Hancock and Nate both sat up, pulling clothes off each other slowly, piece by piece, and letting them fall to the floor. Neither man was too hard yet. It was more romantic than arousing, and it took a lot more friction to get the blood flowing in Hancock’s damaged veins. He crawled onto Nate’s chest, amazed at how clean his skin looked even through raid after raid. He kissed along his broad chest, across freckles and bullet scars. Nate let out little noises that send thrill chills through Hancock. He felt pressure leaving his head. He looked up.

Nate had snatched his hat from him and put it on his own head. Somehow, Nate looked even  _ sexier  _ like that. Naked, but for Hancock’s hat. Hancock, however, felt rather nude and exposed. Hancock sat up slightly in Nate’s lap, looking down at him.

“Mmm, are you the Mayor now?” He asked. Nate grinned,

“Is that how it works? Is it a sort of magical crown that gives me the power to do  _ paperwork? _ ” Nate teased. Hancock went to grab it back but Nate help his head just out of reach, pushing Hancock down against his chest. He didn't feel like wrestling.

“You're gonna crush me,” Hancock said, face buried forcefully into Nate’s chest. He could feel the ghoul’s scars and gnarled flesh contrasting against his flesh. It was in no way an unpleasant feeling. Nate lifted his arm. Hancock sprung up and glared down at Nate. The smirk on his face and those dark eyes scared the shit out of him and aroused him all at once. Nate didn't even notice Hancock had taken the hat back until it already  was being fastened back on Hancock's head.

“Just for that, I'm going to  _ punish _ you.” he said. 

“You wouldn't hurt a fly,” Nate responded with a playful grin. The word  _ punish  _ had so much power over his sex drive, and he definitely  couldn't hide that excitement in his state of dress.

“Nate, have you already forgotten how we met?” He had an unamused expression. Nate grinned, sitting back. He was hard. Really hard. He touched himself, watching Hancock for a reaction. The Ghoul let himself be distracted by the image. Nate spread his legs out in a v shape, toes curled as he gently pumped himself while watching Hancock through hazy vision. Hancock seemed to have forgotten about “punishing” him, and instead started to explore himself. He sat, practically in Nate’s lap with his legs around his waist. He touched himself just inches from Nate’s own cock. God. Nate looked good like that. Muscles, smooth skin, thick cock. Nothing like Hancock. Yet, Nate always stared at him like he was going to _ fucking lose it. _ Like Hancock was some kind of prize. Fuck. Hancock pumped harder at the thought, precum leaking down his knuckles. Fuck. Nate was kissing him. No. It was too soon. He pushed Nate’s hand back and took his own off.

Nate watched him. He was curious what he was going to do. Hancock pushed himself closer, and Nate could feel the ghoul’s cock against his. Neither man touched them. Instead, Hancock kissed Nate, grinding his hips against his lover. Fuckkk, that was real nice. Nate felt his cock throbbing dangerously.

“I can't- I'm not going to last.” Nate warned, panting. Hancock tilted his head, looking thoughtful. Then he reached down, grabbing Nate and pumping his cock. He made quick, short movements close to the tip. Nate didn't even have a change.

He buckled in, thighs tightening. His cock pumped violently, cum covering his chest and Hancock's hand. The Mayor lifted his fingers, sucking them clean one by one. Nate whimpered. That was sexy. That was  _ fucking hot.  _ The sole survivor laid prone on the bed, sliding down to his back. He just had to catch his breath. Then he’d-

Hancock kissed his thigh, and followed trails of kisses down to his spent testicles. Nate whimpered. Hancock stuck a finger into his mouth again, generously moistening it, and slid it against Nate’s ass.

Immediately, Nate tensed up. His cheeks clenched and his legs contracted involuntarily. His body was very uncertain with this new territory.

“Relax,” Hancock massaged his cheeks gently, “You're acting like you've never- oh.” 

_ Oh.  _

“I-” Nate didn't know what to say. His face was tato red. Hancock was grinning.

“You've never had your  _ cherry  _ popped.” He was mocking him. Nate glared.

“I'm not a virgin. I have a kid.” Nate responded.

“I didn't say you were. This is different.” Hancock had a smug look on his face.

“Am I your first?” He asked, “ _ With a man?”  _ Nate’s face felt hotter than Hancock's skin.

“I.. uhm. W-well,” Nate squirmed in place. Nate had hoped this wouldn't come out. He hoped he'd be able to fake through all this.

“Well well  _ well.  _ First time with a  _ Ghoul _ . First time with with a  _ man.  _ Looks like I've won the jackpot.” Hancock had worked his finger through Nate’s clenching muscles while he was distracted. Nate could feel his finger prodding at his back entrance. Instead of protesting out of fear, he did his best to relax. He had no idea what to expect. Hancock lubed up another finger on his other hand while he worked the tight outer ring. “It's gonna be a tight squeeze, but I think I'll be able to work with this…”

Nate’s head was spinning. Were they really going to do this? Was he going to do this?

“Spread ‘em. Relax.  _ Daddy's  _ going to take good care of you,” Hancock waited patiently for Nate to find a comfortable position to spread his knees apart. He held his now flaccid cock and his testicles up and out of the way. Hancock used the hand he had been prodding with to spread Nate’s cheeks apart. The other finger, lubed with spit, pressed in.

It only hurt for a second,  but really it just felt… sort of odd? Hancock worked his finger around, pushing deeper with every twitch until he was to his knuckles. That was about when Hancock found what he was looking for. Nate groaned loudly, probably loud enough for any passer byers to hear, as Hancock toyed with his g spot. Nate was getting hard again. Nothing he could penetrate with, but definitely not soft. 

Hancock had added another finger now, making a scooping motion inside. Nate moaned - nearly yelped - at the sensation.

“You're so loud today, love.” Hancock teased. Nate was too lost to say anything in response. “Mmm I don't know if I can wait any longer.” Hancock reached back to rub himself. Nate had done a great job at relaxing, though.

Hancock dipped his finger into Nate’s cum that still pooled on his stomach. He rubbed it onto the head of his cock generously. Nate panted. He was nervous, clearly. Hancock kissed him and pulled his fingers out carefully.

“Let me know if it hurts too much, Sunshine. I don't wanna torture you.” Hancock lined himself up, pressing the head of his gnarled cock against Nate’s virgin hole. It wouldn't be long until Hancock possessed that invisible trophy. He gave a firm, slow push.

Nate yelped quietly as the head of Hancock's cock popped beyond the tight outer ring.

It was a very tight squeeze. Both of them could feel that. Hancock continued to lube himself up with a mix of Nate’s cum and what saliva he could muster. He pushed a little deeper, and rested, letting Nate’s body stretch to accommodate. He opened his eyes and stared down at him.

Nate was fully hard again, and he was touching himself. He felt a smooth mix of pleasure and pain shooting through him. Hancock, seeing that Nate was enjoying himself, picked up the pace a little. He rocked his hips, pumping his cock deeper with every slow thrust. Nate let out grunts and groans but never told Hancock to stop.

Hancock kissed Nate’s chest. That squeeze was so good. He went deeper. He wasn't trying to be gentle anymore. Nate was surprisingly without complaint. He might have been a ‘virgin’, but he was able to take quite a beating it seemed. Hancock bit Nate’s neck, earning a yelp from him. He thrusted harder into Nate’s tight ass. Fuck. He was close. It was getting dry, though.

“Spit,” Hancock held his hand out by Nate’s mouth. Nate obeyed almost instantly and without question. Hancock pulled out slowly.

He leaned down and placed his lips on Nate’s clavicle. He kissed a few times, and then sucked along Nate’s chest. He left a trail of red marks on the smooth skinned man. He pressed his cock to Nate’s ass again. He kissed him hard, pushing himself back into that snug, warm hole. He started back up, trying to gather speed back up. He was getting sloppy, his thrusts becoming weaker. Less rhythm. He bit down on Nate’s neck again. He felt the big man arch against him. Oh. Oh.

He was close.

Hancock panted, raspy lungs starting to squeal under the stress.

He bared his teeth, his eyes closed tight. He wanted to fill Nate up. He wanted to finish inside.

He knew better, though.

With all the self control he could muster, Hancock pulled out. His cum pumped over Nate’s chest and partially on the mattress. He opened his eyes. Nate was covered, not just in Hancock’s cum, but his own as well. The Ghoul grinned.

“ _ Shit,  _ Nate. You're a mess.”

“Your cum is glowing.” Nate responded, bewildered.

“So it is. Better clean you up.” Hancock quickly wiped Nate down the best he could with a few dish rags. He made sure to clean the mattress up a bit too. This place really needed some new beds. He'd make a mental note of that next time he was at the State House. Nate was breathing heavily, the sounds of his exhaustion filling Hancock's ears. Hancock poured some dirty water over Nate’s chest, making some extra effort to make sure he was clean. Nate didn't say a word. Finally, hancock collapsed beside him.

Immediately, Nate enveloped him with his thick limbs. He kissed Hancock all over the face, causing him to laugh and push his face away.

“So… does it always glow?” Nate asked.

“What? Oh. Uh, yeah. Yes. It does.” Hancock let Nate take his tricorn off. Nate placed it gently on the nightstand, and then turned back to the owner. Hancock put his head on Nate’s bicep, forehead against his chest.

“Radioactive cum,” Nate laughed, “Should I worry about the bite marks you've left all over me too?”

“Uh. Well. Sorry,” Hancock grinned, “You should probably take some radaway.”

“Hook me up, love. And give me some jet, too.” Nate lazily motioned at the bag of goodies.

“You know. What we got,” Hancock grabbed the bag, dumping the excess amount of drugs onto Nate’s chest, “It's better than chems.” Hancock picked out an inhaler from the pile. “Well… 80% as good.”

Nate laughed, then inhaled.

Hancock was wrong though. What they had wasn't just better than chems. What they had was better than life. Nate gave Hancock's life meaning. And Hancock gave Nate hope. It was the best high.


	13. Not an actual chapter or real update... But listen to this song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Like the title says.. Just uh, read the body. good song.

So, I'll probably change this into the notes for the next installment. But I heard this song on pandora today and had to share.

 

<http://youtube.com/watch?v=Kaoj3Iq02a8>

 

Fits Nate and Hancock (or, alternatively Nora and Hancock. Whichever. But since this is my Nate/Hancock story. XD

 

Either way. Listen with them in mind.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nate can't sleep well. He's kept up by his many anxieties and fears about the future. About finding Shaun, about him and Hancock. Angst and fluff.

There was only a handful of people Nate knew that referred to John Hancock as just  _ John.  _ He knew John’s real name - or at the very least, his  _ human  _ name was John McDonough. But the name carried no weight with him. He wasn’t John McDonough, he was John Hancock the badass Ghoul who took over the Old State House, filled it with drugs, and fought for everyone’s freedom to live as they wished. Nate sometimes called him John, when he meant for the conversation to be more personal. More intimate. But Nate usually just called him Hancock. It felt strange calling him anything else. He assumed those who called him John knew him as a kid, or at least knew him before Mayor McDonough took over and he left Diamond City. 

It was a strange thought. People who knew John before he had the face Nate had fallen in love with. Nate sometimes laid on his side at night and looked at that face at night while Hancock slept, imaging how he looked. Hancock had informed him at some point he use to be a blond before the rads took his hair. He told him it was long and kind of curly and he kept it in a pony tail. Nate had a hard time imagining something like that. He imagined Hancock probably looked a little like McDonough. They were brothers. Probably the same complexion, similar eyes. But he didn’t know. There was no photos for him to compare. Nate would trace the ghoul’s jawline, his neck and his body. He’d scan the shapes, trying to mentally piece together the missing puzzle pieces that would make Hancock look human. He had a good jawline, a good chin and a good brow line. Nate was certain he must have been a very attractive man. 

Yet, that wasn’t the face he loved. That wasn’t the face that he knew and cherished. That wasn’t the face he curled up next to every night. That wasn’t the face he woke up to every morning. It wasn’t what he kissed for the first time in a destroyed shack in the middle of the Commonwealth. The one that carried the voice that made Nate melt every time he heard it. Most Ghouls had a voice that was a little hard to listen to. Scratchy in all the wrong ways. Like a smoker who talked out of a tube. But Hancock’s voice was something else entirely. Scratchy where it needed to be, smooth where others weren’t. The voice drew Nate close. It was like butterscotch on gravel. Like syrup and sandpaper. Smooth and scratchy at the same time. 

Hancock was a lot of things. He contradicted himself so often, making him complicated and troubling. He’d go from this confident, charismatic man who charmed the pants off of anyone who overlooked his face to a puddle of lack in self-esteem with plenty of self-hatred to go around. On one side he was generous and giving, and on another he was willing to cut fingers off from anyone who steals from him or crosses him. He had even lectured Nate for his sticky fingers when it wasn’t even Hancock’s shit he was stealing. Eye for an eye and self sacrifice. Hancock was loving and compassionate toward the underdogs. He liked to stick it to the man and stick it to himself when he felt he was doing anything ‘tyrant-y’. He hated people in power but he  _ was a person in power. _ Hancock had to be the most complicated person Nate had met. But, Nate liked that too. Everyone had the person they wanted to be and the person they were. Often the the two didn’t match. Hancock’s internal and external identity were as hot and cold as it got.

Nate himself wasn’t nearly as complicated. He was a soldier. Sometimes it showed, sometimes it didn’t. Yes, Nate’s military training sometimes drew him to the Brotherhood. The idea of belonging, of being a part of a force to protect the others appealed to him. But the bigotry didn’t. He was for the people. For the people, by the people. Nate would laugh at that thought. The Brotherhood was for the people, but it was just another force that tried to control the people for ‘their own good’. That shit didn’t work for Nate. But that’s about as complicated, or contradictory as Nate got. But Nate was confident in his looks, in his body, and in his mannerisms. Nate was charismatic too, and he knew it. He had gotten lots of people to do as he asked. He could even get people to turn on their own people to fight for him in the hopes that he wouldn’t kill them. Nate was pretty smart. Maybe not a genius, but he knew his way around the basics and perhaps a little more than basics. He liked to build and make things. He liked people. He liked helping. He didn’t feel great about it, but he was willing to admit he liked hurting people too. Not in the sadistic, brutal way. He liked knowing that what he did, what others couldn’t, made the world a little better. That the person he killed was making it harder for everyone else, and that the good people would have a better life because that person was gone. He didn’t feel the same way about those lower ranking, weaker ‘minions’ that he had to kill. Usually, they were following orders.  _ Like soldiers. _ But it was their choice in the end, and if they had the upper hand they would have killed Nate first. It boiled down to survival. Kill or be killed. And he would fucking survive until he found his son and took him home - wherever that home would be.

Nate’s mind was swarming with all these thoughts. These thoughts about his lover, about himself, about his son and now he thought about the future. What would he even do after he found Shaun? Where would he go? Would he return to Sanctuary and live his life there? Would he continue to do mercenary type work? Would he keep working for the Brotherhood? Would he live out his life as the Minuteman general? He knew he had to keep spreading good. He had to keep helping others. Yes, Nate had his own problems, and raising his son and doing dangerous work would be a complicated thing to balance. Nate looked at Hancock.

_ What about Hancock?  _ Nate thought.

Would the Ghoul stay? Nate was pretty sure he would. But what would that even mean? Would Hancock just be his lover, and would Nate raise his kid by himself? Would Hancock want to be part of that? Before this moment, Nate hadn’t even really thought about it. Hancock meant so much to him. But Shaun was a part of him. A literal piece of him. Could John be a - dare he say it - father figure for Shaun? Would Shaun call him dad, too? Would Shaun even call Nate dad? Nate’s heart hurt at the thought. And would Nate be comfortable with the drugs being around all the time if Shaun was there too? Hancock was a user. It wasn’t up for debate, Nate knew that. But Nate would never ask John Hancock to change his behavior. He’d probably just ask that he not let Shaun see him doing it. But, this was still assuming John would even stick around. There was a growing pain in the pit in Nate’s stomach.

John Hancock was the one and only thing in the Commonwealth that made Nate feel safe. He needed his love. It wasn’t a want. It was a  _ need.  _ Without it, Nate knew that the urge to give up would be a lot easier to succumb to. He knew that the same applied easily to Hancock. He had seen the way the Ghoul popped drugs like candy. Without Nate there, he was pretty sure it would be easy for Hancock to thoughtlessly overdo it. And who would help him? Who would be able to help him? Who would even care? Nate held back tears. He didn’t know why he was getting so  _ fucking  _ emotional. The fact that there were so many people who didn’t love Hancock as much as Nate did. The fact that outside of Goodneighbor people usually treated the poor Ghoul so poorly… It didn’t surprize Nate how many chems the man would take. Nate knew it wasn’t just for fun. Nate knew it was to numb the pain.

Nate scooted closer to Hancock on the bed, though there wasn’t much space between them in the first time, and placed a hand on his chest. The sole survivor was lying on his side, arm tucked under his head to support it. Hancock was on his back. It was rare they found a bed big enough for either of them to lay on their back. He looked so comfortable. When Nate’s hand rested against his sternum, Hancock twitched awake. He looked dreary and a tad confused.

“What ‘ime issit?” He slurred, looking around in the dark.

“Sorry. Go back to sleep,” Nate apologized, smiling. “It’s still late.” Hancock turned onto his side, facing Nate, and looked him over with a warm expression. Nate couldn’t help but grin, but the grin must have been sad because Hancock furrowed his brow in concern.

“You okay, love?” He asked.

_ No.  _ “Yes,” Nate smiled.

“You’re lying,” Hancock lifted his head and rested it on Nate’s arm, letting his forehead gently bump against his. Nate let his other arm drape around Hancock. He could feel his warm breath against his face. God, that felt nice.

“I just… I can’t sleep,” Nate responded, “I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

“Share,” Hancock responded, “I don’t mind.”

“No, I… I mean,” Nate sighed, “This is  _ tricky,”  _

“Nate,” Hancock laughed, “Talk to me brother.” That voice. The way he looked at Nate. It has hard not to spill his heart to him. Nate sighed,

“It’s just… until now, I didn’t really think of what to do with myself after… After I find Shaun. Kellogg said he was alive. So, I’ve got to bring him home. But,” Nate was looking intense. He knew he was. It was an intense conversation. “I don’t know where that is,” He finally admitted, “I don’t know what kind of future I can give Shaun. Or myself. Or you,” He squeezed Hancock as if to reassure him. This wasn’t a break up conversation. This was something else. This was a plea for... For what? Reassurance for himself? In their relationship? Hancock shifted, wrapping his arms around Nate. Nate nearly cried out in relief. He was really on the edge tonight.

“You’re the best thing I got, Nate. You’re my  _ sunshine.  _ What we have… Look. Nate. I never thought I’d find my match. Its nice to be wrong.” Hancock looked Nate in the eyes, a little smile twitching on his lips. “But, I get what you’re saying. You’re scared. You won’t lose me, I promise.” Nate felt like his heart was screaming both in joy and anxiety. He took a deep breath.

“When I find Shaun. When I bring him here… I’d want you to be a part of his life. Not just mine. He’s my son. I… I mean, you don’t have to be his  _ dad  _ or anything.” Nate sounded stupid. He knew he did. He didn’t know how to say this, though. The look on Hancock’s face was a bit hard to read. He looked stoic. That smirk had vanished. He took a deep breath and let it out. Not in a sad way, or even a frustrated sigh. Just an uncertain sigh.

“I’m a bad role model,” He responded finally. Nate nearly laughed. That’s all? Nate kissed him,

“I love you anyway,” Nate smiled. He didn’t even bother to deny the fact. Hancock was what he was. He encouraged Nate to chem up, he encouraged violence and he encouraged public nudity and sex more often then Nate expected from a man who talked shit about himself all the time. Hancock grinned at the words.

“Well, shit. I dunno,” Hancock kissed him, “I wouldn’t have a choice, would I? If you and I exist, and your kid exists, and you have your kid with you.. Well,  _ logically  _ I would be a part of his life, right?” He responded, “But don’t get mad at  _ me  _ if he picks up swearing. If I have a fucking filter, it’s too dirty to function right. And if he starts calling me  _ dad _ I won’t know what to do.”

Nate wasn’t sure if Hancock understood how much relief washed over him from those words. Joking aside, it was exactly what Nate needed to hear. He put his hand on the back of Hancock’s head and pulled him towards his lips. He pressed his lips against Hancock’s mouth and kissed him like it like the world was going to end again. God, it felt good. The fact that Hancock was willing to be more than just his lover - but his  _ partner.  _ That meant so much to Nate. “I love you.” He breathed.

“Get some sleep,” Hancock responded with another, quicker kiss, “Or do you need a little more ‘encouragement’?” He asked with that sexy smirk of his. Nate grinned and rolled onto his back. Hancock straddled him and Nate let his mind relax.

He’d have time for worrying later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't stop. I love this fic too much. Enjoy.


	15. Art for my fic <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some art I did based off my fic :3 hope y'all enjoy!

https://68.media.tumblr.com/d003ebc56ca8bb4d4e7ed02359ffddab/tumblr_oo348vGguB1vsl52io2_1280.png

https://68.media.tumblr.com/e7b9271b39bf500a2c8474e91b109202/tumblr_oo348vGguB1vsl52io1_1280.png


	16. He Disliked That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nate does something Hancock doesn't approve of - And Hancock is pretty vocal about it.

Nate was smiling. He felt good about what he had done. The vault-tec rep even had a tiny bit of a bounce in his step as he walked the other direction, off towards sanctuary. Nate turned on his heels toward his hotel room.

Hancock, however, looked displeased. He had his arms crossed. He was nearly entirely nude, but for his underwear and his hat. It was a ‘good look for’ him. Nate’s smile dropped, though, when he saw the harsh glare the Mayor of Goodneighbor was giving him.

“What, Goodneighbor not  _ good enough  _ for him?” He hissed. Nate looked taken aback. “He’s a fucking  _ Ghoul  _ Nate. He’s not going to be happier any place else. At least here he’d have a fucking chance.”

“I didn’t-” Nate felt like throwing his arms up, to defend himself. Hancock looked like he was going to - he didn’t know what. “I mean… No,” He shook his head. He’d stand by his decision, “You yourself said that some people can’t get use to the ‘Goodneighbor lifestyle’, right? Well. He’s not Goodneighbor material. He needs a job, and I’m going to give him one in Sanctuary.” Hancock didn’t drop his glare.

“I hope you know what you’re doing. Folks in Sanctuary are jus-”

“You know that isn’t true,” Nate was standing close to him now, placing his hands on the Ghoul’s arms, “Look… When I had just crawled out of the vault, Preston was the one who first told me what a Ghoul was. He didn’t say ‘savage monsters who sometimes talk’. Preston told me Ghouls were people, but sometimes they’re brain melted and they attacked on instinct. If anything,” Nate could see Hancock’s glare starting to relax. His arms uncrossed and he let his chest be exposed. “If anything, Santuary is a perfect place for him. And with a job he’ll be happy.” Hancock glared down at the floor for a moment. He looked thoughtful,

“I guess you’re probably right,” He said finally, “Come on, I’m tired,” He grabbed Nate’s waist suddenly, pulling him inside. After shutting the door behind him Nate was practically thrown to the bed. Hancock had comfortably found himself a spot to lay - Right on top of Nate with his head on his chest - and was snoring within moments. Damn. He wasn’t kidding about being tired.

Nate took the tricorn off, placing it on the other mattress beside them, and then wrapped his arms around Hancock’s neck and upper shoulders. He was a damn good blanket. The sole survivor stated up at the ceiling. He traced his eyes over each crack and each missing piece of drywall. He would sleep soon, but now he couldn’t help but feel guilt in his stomach. Hancock didn’t approve of everything he did, and he wasn’t exactly afraid to be vocal about it. Nate was sure - he was fucking positive - he had made the right decision with the Vault-Tec rep. The man was broken. He needed a friend, and he needed a purpose. Nate could give him that. Yet, for some reason, Hancock saw it as a personal attack on Goodneighbor.

He could never call Goodneighbor a pleasant place, or a place he’d raise his children. But he wouldn’t call Goodneighbor a bad place either. People we’re usually rougher here, but they were just people. Good people, bad people, it didn’t matter. There was one rule in Goodneighbor - Respect or else. People followed that. No one purposely crossed one-and-other, people worked for their money and spent it how they pleased. Nate liked that, even if people always treated him like an outsider whenever he was there. Though, the people had also stopped calling him the ‘flavor of the week’ at this point. It seemed pretty clear to everyone at this point that Hancock liked to have him around.

Nate looked down at Hancock’s sleeping figure. He was sleeping soundly. Nate could feel his chest expanding against him with every sleeping breath. The sounds he made - little rasps at the peak of each breath, quiet moans, and mumbles - were pretty fucking cute. Nate had never felt so at peace then just watching the Mayor sleep. He traced little circles at the base of his head. He leaned down, placing a kiss on the top of his radiated lover’s head. 

“I love you,” Nate breathed softly, “So much. You’re the fucking sunshine in this horrible world. I’ll never get use to living in the wasteland. I’ll never get use any of this. But you -” His voice was barely a whisper. “You’re the best fucking thing that could happen to me. You have no idea. I want to spend the rest of my life right by your side.” Nate closed his eyes, letting his mind darken.

“Go to sleep, Nate,” Hancock responded, causing the sole survivor to jump a little. Hancock groaned and opened his eyes. He was smirking. Nate was blushing. He placed a gentle kiss on Nate’s lips, “I ain’t going anywhere.” He grinned and the sole survivor grinned back.

Hancock laid back down and after squirming for just a moment to get comfortable again, drifted back off to sleep. Nate closed his eyes to do the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short little thing! An idea I had after seeing the Vault-Tec rep for the first time.


	17. We can do this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nate and Hancock fuck on a table. Afterwords, Nate comes to a realization.

“Ohh fuck- fuck,” Nate’s arms were thrown above his head, sweat rolling down his forehead and chest. Hancock’s hips slapped against the sole survivor’s thighs and the head of his cock hit all the right spots inside. Nate’s own was twitching dangerously, straining against his stomach. Hancock wrapped his fingers around it, pumping suddenly as he kissed Nate. Fuck. That was good.

“I’m gonna cum,” Hancock hissed, lips dropping against Nate’s neck. Nate wrapped his legs around Hancock tightly at that, pulling him in closer rather than letting him pull away. “Nate- ah shit,”

Nate knew what he was doing. He kissed Hancock hard, feeling the Ghoul shooting his load inside his tight ass. Fuck, it felt good. The tingling sensation started up immediately, the prick of radiation filling every part of his insides. Hancock didn’t move. Instead, he enjoyed the moment. The tightness against his throbbing cock as he came. It felt great, he couldn’t argue that. Nate kissed along his jaw and spread his fingers across Hancock’s pectorals.

“That’s gonna sting here soon,” Hancock warned him, “And you’re probably going to vomit. But hey, if that’s what you want.”

“I’ll be fine,” Nate replied in a pant. Hancock dropped to his knees almost suddenly, taking one of Nate’s testicles into his mouth. God, that felt good. Nate let his head roll back against the table they had been fucking on and just enjoyed the ride. He felt kisses up his shaft, a tongue tracing around the head. He felt a mouth over the head, sucking hard. Oh god, that felt good. Nate opened an eye to watch the Mayor of Goodneighbor’s cheeks hollow as he sucked hard on the Sole Survivor’s needy cock. Their eyes met as it happened. Watching him do that…

Oh it felt so perfect. Hancock gasped in bliss, releasing Nate’s cock from his mouth. Saliva dripped down the head. More precum pooled at the exit.

“Fuck,” Hancock breathed, looking at it with heavy lidded eyes. “Fuck, that looks so good.” He rasped. Nate could feel his fucking breath covering his cock. He could feel the air cooling around the hot flesh. Hancock slid his tongue against the shaft, drawing it up to the tip. At this point, Nate could feel the burning sensation building inside of him. To others, it might be an unpleasant feeling, but he couldn’t imagine a better burn. It filled him, warmed him from the inside. It hurt, but Nate loved the pain. It was permanently marking him as Hancock’s territory.   
Nate felt himself cumming. It came unexpectedly and suddenly. He curled inward, thighs tightening and hips lifting involuntarily. Hancock swallowed. He could feel the ghoul’s throat tightening and loosening against the head of his cock. It sent sensations through his body unlike any other. Fuck. Hancock pulled away, wiping his mouth.

“You’re a mess,” He positioned himself against Nate’s ass again. He was teasing, Nate knew, but the idea of Hancock fucking him again didn’t exactly sound unpleasant to him. “Why don’t we go have a swim?”

Nate tried to sit up, but he melted back to the table almost immediately. He panted where he laid. He had already been exhausted when Hancock had pinned him to the table in the first place. Now, he could barely move.

“No? Well… Someone must really be tired.” Hancock rutted his hips against Nate’s ass and testicles, causing him to cry out. He could hear his heart in his ears. Hancock followed the motion by kissing along his chest. “I guess I’ll let you relax for a moment then,”  
Hancock pulled away, and Nate lost sight of him. So, he relaxed with his back against the hot wood. He let his ankles bounce against the legs of the table and his toes touch the cold concrete. He could feel everything around him. The air, the ground, his own skin. Everything. Hancock came into view again, fully dressed. He was leaning over Nate with a smile on his face. “Open,” He said, and Nate obeyed.

He felt the cool chalky taste of a mentat on his tongue, followed by the hard round gel of a buffout. He swallowed both. It would only take a second or two for the drugs to hit him, so he let himself relax there for a moment. Hancock’s pupils were as big as dinner plates. He was already beyond high. Nate felt energy again pulsing through his body. He pushed himself up, letting his feet hit the concrete. He stood, stumbling just a step, before regaining his balance. Hancock moved toward him.

The kiss he gave Nate nearly stopped his heart. It was long and full of lust, but it was loving too. It took his breath away, mesmerising him for the moment. His arms wrapped around Nate’s bare shoulders and hips. In response he let his fingers find a place they could comfortably rest them. When Hancock pulled back Nate had momentarily forgotten where he was. He was there. Hancock was there. That’s all that mattered. Nate leaned forward and kissed him again.

“Get dressed,” Hancock demanded, “I’m gonna go cook some of those molerat chunks up.”

Nate’s body burned where Hancock left it. His head rolled to the side. The drugs were really working their way through his system now. He felt his skin tingling all over. He felt like he could do anything and at the same time he wanted to do nothing. He started to dress himself, as Hancock told him to.

Nate stepped outside, blinking at the bright sun. They had camped out somewhere in the middle of the commonwealth. Some unclaimed territory and some broken down house. Hancock was cooking molerat over an open fire. They were next so some kind of lake. It was a nice area, and if it wasn’t so undefended it would probably make a good settlement. Either way, Nate had decided that Hancock was right about the water. He had just gotten dressed but he was already undressing again. He dropped his clothes off on a large rock and stepped into the cool water. Not to radiated, thought Nate as he sunk down and relaxed as the cool water washed over his worn skin. His mind left him and he laid there, pleasantly relaxed at the feeling.

“Hey sexy. Hungry?” Hancock’s voice broke him from the trace. Nate could smell the freshly cooked meat - another year, another time, the idea of eating something like that would repulse him. Now it was one of his favorites. Of course, nothing could beat bramin. Hancock sat by the water, offering Nate a slightly cracked plate full of meat. Nate took a piece or two from it, popping the chewy meat into his mouth. Hancock did the same, resting the plate on his knee.

“We’re still alive,” Hancock said, “It amazes me. You and me, spending every day out here with almost no shelter. And we’re still living. Isn’t that great?”

“How high are you?” Nate responded with a chuckle,

“Real high, brother.” He stared off at the sky, chewing a piece of meat. Nate leaned over and kissed his leg. His clothes weren’t exactly clean, but Nate didn’t mind. Hancock looked down at him. Then, he placed the meat aside and took off his shoes. He hiked his pants up past his knees and he let his feet drop into the water. Nate rested his head against the Ghoul’s knee, wrapping an arm around his shin.

Nate felt a little pain in his stomach. All this time he was spending, getting high and running errands for one person or another - he felt like he was wasting his time. Shaun was still out there. He was probably scared. He was probably confused. Kellogg told him Shaun was safe, but… fuck, he wasn’t sure where he belonged. Nate lifted his head and stared up at his skeletal friend - his lover. A beautiful, wonderful distraction.

“I need to… we need to find him,” He said. Hancock looked down at him with surprise, as if he had forgotten the other man was even there.

“What?”  
“Shaun. I’ve been spending all this time running around for other people, but Shaun is still out  there,” Nate said, “I’ve gotta.. I’ve gotta knuckle down. I’ve got to focus. Shaun’s out there and I need to bring him home.”  
“Nate,” Hancock reached down, wiping away the tears Nate hadn’t even realized were running down his face. “We’re going to. We’ll bring him home,” He promised. That promise meant a lot to Nate. It filled him with hope. “Where do we need to go next?” Nate swallowed, looking at the water.  
“Well… I was told I’d need to go into The Glowing Sea next.” He replied. Hancock’s eyes widened,

“Nate, it’ll kill you. That’s  _ ground zero. _ I can’t even really handle  _ that  _ much radiation.” Nate was silent for a moment.

“There’s a man,” He continued, “A man called Virgil. According to Doctor Amari he is an ex-institute scientist. He’s my best chance of finding a way into the institute.” The both of them were quiet for a moment,

“Well. I could just go,” Started Hancock, “I could talk to the guy for you- it would be safer. I’ll be able to handle a lot more of the poison then you at least.”

“No,” Nate said firmly, “I’ve got to go too. Maybe,” He paused, “Maybe I can find a hazmat suit or something. Doc Amari said I should use power armor, but I dunno. It doesn’t seem practical,” The sole survivor was never shy of saying how uncomfortable he was in the power armor. Bulky, sluggish. Yes, it was good armor but it also slowed him down. 

“I’ve got,” Hancock dug through his back, “Five rad-x on me. That and the suit might do it. If you can find one,” He added. “How about you?”  
“I’ve been stocking up,” Nate admitted, “Haven’t really needed to take any - other then when we have sex.” He added. Hancock nodded. He had laid the rad-x out on the ground beside Nate’s things.

“How about radaway?”

“Been stocking up on that too,” Nate said. “I think I’ll be able to do this.” He suddenly felt Hancock’s lips on his cheek.

“Let’s do this, then,” Hancock said.  
“Alright. Let’s do this,” Nate gripped his hand and the two of them looked at each other. There was fear in both of their expressions, but they held each other’s hands tightly. It would be okay.

They were gonna do this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna start digging into Fallout 4 main plot spoilers. I've got a story goal I want to keep up with <3


	18. The Glowing Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nate and Hancock face the Glowing Sea.

They had left early in the morning, but it was nearly night by the time they had gotten to the border of the glowing sea. Nate had expected the worse, but the heat that came off from the yellow glow was nearly unbearable. His geiger counter was ticking quietly, but not enough for concern yet. 

“Its getting dark,” Nate said.

“I do my best work after dark.” responded Hancock, grabbing his gun a little tighter. The look the two of them gave each other said it all. They turned and hiked back until Nate’s geiger counter quieted down. There, they spread out a blanket on the forest floor and pulled each other close.

“Are you cold?” Hancock asked quietly. Nate grunted in response, tightening his grip around the Ghoul. Hancock laughed his breathy, raspy laugh. It had become so comforting to Nate. “I love you. You've got plenty of Rad-x, right?” he asked, carefully tracing Nate’s ear with his thumb. 

“Yes,” Nate sat up, leaning over Hancock. He met the other man’s eyes with a steady stare. He could see them glinting even in this darkness. He leaned forward and kissed Hancock's forehead.

“Mmm, you're sexy. Here's hoping you stay that way after tomorrow.” he teased.

“Aren't you the one always saying we should find a way to turn me into a ghoul?” Nate retorted. Hancock gripped the back of his neck, pulling him down for a kiss.

“I'm more concerned about you biting the dust then looking more like me.” Nate grinned against his cheek. 

“They say couples tend to start to look more alike the longer they're together.” Nate had eased himself back down, rested his head on Hancock's bony chest.

“Oh, well in that case I sure hope I start to look like you.” Hancock ran his fingers across Nate’s back slowly. The smooth skinned man let out a chuckle followed by yawn. It wasn't long until Nate let out a tiny mumble indicating he had fallen asleep. Hancock let himself relax on the rough ground. He was worried and those concerns were keeping him from sleep’s sweet embrace. Even if he could sleep, he was sure it would be riddled with nightmares ranging from watching Nate melt into nothing or watching himself go feral from too much radiation. The Glowing Sea wasn’t exactly a place on his bucket list. He wouldn’t tell Nate this, but yeah, a lot of radiation wasn’t exactly good for a Ghoul. A little bit? Sure, caused the cells to stitch together faster or whatever. But a buttload. 

He fingered his shotgun by the ‘bed’, looking at Nate. Would he be aware enough? Would he know if his brain was melting? Would he be able to blow his brains out fast enough so that Nate wouldn’t have to? His heart pounded in his chest. These thoughts weren’t healthy. He wouldn’t humor them anymore. They’d both be fine. Nate had plenty of rad-x, plenty of radaway, and Hancock had lost it too long ago to go feral. He smiled and closed his eyes, resting his cheek against Nate’s hair. 

 

Hancock let out a moan, feeling his body stiffen as the morning light hit him. But that’s not that made him moan. He had awoken to the most pleasant feeling of his morning wood being gently caressed. He tilted his head up to see Nate bobbing his head up and down over his cock. The sole survivor looked up, eyes wrinkled and glinting with that mischievous look that Hancock thought only he could manage so perfectly until he met Nate. He wrapped his hand through Nate’s hair, other hand across the back of his own neck. He tilted his head back, enjoying the feeling of tongue on his throbbing erection. Fuck, that was nice.

“Good morning, sunshine,” He growled affectionately. He was rewarded with a vacuum suck to the tip. His tongue swirled around the head and over the exit with quick, intentional movements. God he looked good like that. Nate’s tongue dropped into the foreskin, swirling around inside. Hancock groaned, arching his back toward Nate’s face. Nate didn’t have any foreskin, but Hancock never bothered to ask why. Probably something to do with being pre-war or some shit. Didn’t matter. He liked it. 

Nate pulled his head back, giving Hancock’s cock a few quick pumps, before going back at it. Hancock felt his entire length disappear in the other man’s mouth. Holy shit- that was nice.

“‘Ave you been practicing without me or somethin’?” The Ghoul asked, giving Nate a playful glare. Nate responded by reaching his hand down, kneading his undercarriage gently. Holy shit. His thumb gently prodded his taint. Oh shit. Hancock’s head was swimming, hazy vision blocking his view. He thrusted upward toward Nate’s mouth, pulling his head down harder against it. Nate didn’t complain. 

_ Good boy, _ Hancock thought as Nate generously took one of Hancock’s testicles into his mouth. Holy  _ shit.  _ He was pumping his cock again, thumb running across the underside of his shaft. He was close. He was really grinding against that edge. 

“Shit, Nate. I’m gonna lose it here soon,” He mumbled. He opened his eyes in time to see Nate pulling a rag and putting it over Hancock’s cock. With a few more pumps, the ghoul was cumming into it.  tracing over the underside of his shaft. He was close. He was really grinding the edge. 

“Nate.” he muttered, “Nate, I'm gonna cum here real soon.” he warned. At that, Hancock felt a rag brush against the tip of his cock. Nate gave him a few quick pumps that sent him right over the edge. 

Nate tossed the rag aside when he was done, and leaned over his cock and gave it one last hard suck. Hancock twitched to stop him but he had caught on just a bit too late. 

“You're gonna poison yourself,” Hancock said.

“Mm it tingles. Like pop rocks,” Replied Nate, patting his lover's stomach affectionately before rolling to stand up.

“Where are you going?”

“We've got a scientist to find,”

“Yeah,” Hancock sat up, dragging his fingers down Nate’s ass, “But don't you want me to return the favor?” he stared up at Nate, playing with his pant’s waistband. 

“Of course. Later. We've got work to do right now,” Nate put his palm on the Ghoul’s forehead and pushed him back down against the blanket. Hancock watched him for a moment as he threw his shirt on and bent to tie his boots on.

“You gonna get dressed?” he asked without looking from his shoes. Hancock quickly pulled his pants back up, a sheepish grin on his face.

“Don't mind me. Just enjoying the view.”

“You can keep enjoying the view with your shirt on, horny drug lord,” 

“Don't say the truth as if it were an insult,” Hancock pulled his clothes on quickly, smirking at Nate. He popped a mentat onto his tongue, feeling the chalky flavor melt over his hot tongue. He packed up his things and by the time he was ready, Nate was already facing the glowing horizon. Hancock stepped up behind him, placing his hand over Nate’s hip.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Yes sir,” 

“Mmm call me that when I'm fucking you some time.” Nate turned his head with a grin, kissing his cheek.

“Yes sir.” he whispered. The sensual hum against his ears sent shivers down Hancock’s spine. 

He was gonna fuck him so hard after this. He found it a much more pleasant thought then the ones he had the previous night. 

Nate led the way toward the glow, keeping his gun ready. He had it cocked and ready. One of those never ending shot guns. He seemed proud of the thing. The gun he modded the most, and took the best care off. Hancock never got how the man could be so good at so many things, but watching him bent over the table was always a treat. 

The geiger counter was speeding up. A green mist like glow gathered around their ankles. Hancock could feel it. He had no need for the device. It was pre programmed into every Ghoul’s dna. It felt nice at this level. Made him tingle at the neck, and warm up in the core. Something he rarely experience since the melting of his skin.  _ Not for the smooth skinned. _

“All the rads a Ghoul could ask for,” Hancock commented, stretching in the bask of warmth. Nate, on the other hand, looked like he was going to vomit. He popped a rad-x, swallowing it down with some deep gulps of purified water. Water trickled down his chin, getting caught in the 5’o’clock shadow that had made a home on the sole survivors face. 

“It's gonna get real hot real fast,” Nate checked his gun, then went forward with determination on his handsome face. Hancock wasn't sure why he had such a staring problem today. Maybe he was trying to memorize Nate’s face before it melted off.

Nate wrapped a bandana around his forehead and trekked forward. Hancock had to hand it to him. The guy was brave. The glow deepened until they were surrounded by a yellow-green mist. Water here looked like liquid rust and the ground was a nasty green brown color. Nothing survived here. Nothing probably ever would. 

“Ferals ahead.” Nate said.

The stood all facing different directions. They looked distant and distracted. Zombie like, even. It made Hancock uncomfortable. He raised his shotgun and fired.

The first one exploded like a macabre pinata, blood splattering against its fellow ghouls. All at once they turned with an awful growl. Another bullet hit one in the arm. Nate let off a few bullets of his own, one tearing off a leg of one, another right through the neck of another. By the time Hancock had reloaded, two remained. One snarled, charging at Nate with surprising speed. Hancock stepped forward, swinging the butt of his gun hard against its misshapen head. The other one grabbed Hancock by the back, sinking its nasty teeth into his arm.

“Oh,  _ I'm feral now,”  _ Hancock swung himself around, firing both bullets into its chest. He swung his elbow into its face, and for extra measure he fired two more shots into its face after it collapsed. He was panting. “ _ Had  _ to be ferals,” he said. He looked at Nate, who was apparently staring. 

“That was kind of hot,” his human companion said. Hancock laughed at him, but gave him a kiss in response. Nate gave him a comforting squeeze before the two of them continued. The sole survivor was looking down at his map. They had barely even cut into the meat of the glowing sea. He popped another rad-x and crossed his arms over his chest. They kept quiet, paranoia keeping their urge to speak to a minimum as they crossed the wasteland. They could hear a distant humming, neither sure if it was the radiation or something else rather nasty.

The humming got louder the farther they got, however. They looked at each other, Hancock raising a brow and Nate shrugging. 

“Whatchit-” Hancock swung forward toward Nate, Elbow passing past his ear and knocking into something behind him. Hancock placed his hand on Nate’s hip, aiming his shotgun over the man’s shoulder and firing two shots. He gasped, pressed close against the Ghoul. He turned to see the remains of a feral lying flat on rusty earth behind them. Hancock grinned and kissed Nate’s cheek before pulling away. 

“Startled me,” The human gasped. Hancock made no apology, but instead sauntered ahead. Nate rolled his eyes and followed, watching their back as they made it to the precipice of the hill.

“Would you look at tha’.” Hancock breathed. Nate nearly ran into him if it weren’t for his voice reminding him he was there. He turned on his heels to see what Hancock was talking about.

“Is that a… settlement?” He said in disbelief. 

Several metal buildings made up the small village, all surrounding a pool of rust colored water. People sat all around the pool, arms outstretched toward. Each and every one of them wore an expression of bliss on their dirty faces, along with torn rags and what Nate could only deduce as a collender roped to their solar plexuses. 

“Oh god, not these nut cases.” Hancock breathed, rubbing his face in disbelief. Nate looked at him and Hancock reminded himself that Nate was not from this world. “Come on. They're usually friendly. Just don't call ‘em crazy.”

They climbed down the steep decline and paused at the bottom of the slope. Nate took another rad-x and watched as several of the strange people looked up in unison as the two of them came into view. He stiffened, raising his gun slightly from his hip. His pulse quickened. He was ready to fight off a hoard of crazies. 

Then something rather strange happened. Each and every one of them moved toward them. Just when Nate was sure he would have to start open firing, they pushed past him and surrounded Hancock. Their hands reached toward them, gently patting his arms and chest… affectionately?

“Uhh…”

Hancock was laughing uncontrollably at this point. Several of them who weren't able to get close enough just dropped to their knees, raising their arms up and smiling up at him like he were some kind of God. Nate wasn't half as pleased as Hancock seemed, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at the Ghoul. He knew this was going to happen. The smug look on his face said it all.

“Ahaha-alright. Thanks. That's enough. Okay-” They still surrounded him as he began to protest. Nate smirked, “Stop. Stop touching- woah that's a private spot. Stop.” he batted hands away but they quickly returned to feel his clothes or find some part of his skin they could touch. Serves him right.

Nate turned, looking over the settlement curiously. One thing stood out. In the far off edge, a woman with medium length gray hair stood with her hands folded, watching Nate and Hancock. 

“Sit tight, John. I'll be right back,” He could hear Hancock protesting being left behind but chose to ignore him as he approached the older, willowy woman. 

“Hello,” Nate announced himself to her, and her wild eyes lowered down from the sky and focused on him. She smiled wide and Nate thought for a moment  _ This is what crazy looks like _ . 

“Stop right there, stranger. You approach Atom’s holy ground. State your purpose or be divided in his light.” Nate was taken aback by this, startled by the contrast between her expression and her words.

“Holy ground? Atom? What's going on here?” he wore his confusion on his sleeve. Between his lover quite suddenly being bombarded with ‘love’ and a settlement surrounded by radiation.. well, confused didn't even scrape the surface. She smiled despite this, however,

“Atom reached down and touched this world, bringing his glow to us. It remains to this day as a reminder of his promise. Infinite worlds through division.” she raised her arms at that, basking in the ‘glow’. Nate felt his skin crawling from the heat. 

“Who are you? How have you survived in all this radiation?” he asked,

“I am Mother Isolde and we are the Children of Atom. That is Atom’s unique gift to us, the true believers.” Nate stared in disbelief. Nutcases. All of them, “Atom brought us here to this place, a place that cannot harm us, so that we may worship him. So that we man spread his word to others.

“That is our calling. To spread his word to a world that does not wish to hear it. To show Atom’s power to all.” Isolde’s bloodshot eyes glowed with a sort of spark Nate had seen before. She believed truly in this - whatever this was. Nate shook his head, reminding himself why they were in the Glowing Sea in the first place.

“I'm looking for someone named Virgil. Have you seen him?” This changed her expression. She narrowed her eyes, her lips becoming a fine white line. Nate wondered if he had said the wrong thing.

“Yes. I know of him,” Nate’s heart bounced. Finally, some good news. “What do you want of him?”

“I just need some information from him,” He said the words carefully, worried he would set her off if he didn't. She paused for a moment, folding and unfolding her hands thoughtfully.

“In truth, he has caused some concern. Some believe that his presence is an affront to Atom. Though he came to trade with us on some occasion, we have had little other contact with him. It was quite clear he wanted to be left alone.

“You can find him southwest of the Crater living in a cave. I would approach cautiously, were I you. I fear he does not want visitors.” Nate nodded graciously, and with that he turned back to see how a Hancock was fairing.

Not well, it seemed. Nate approached the crowd that had gathered around him, cautiously clearing his throat. Suddenly, all eyes were on him.

“I, uh, need him back.” Nate said. Some of the younger cultists seemed reluctant to give Hancock up, but after enough cleared the ghoul was able to successfully pull away from them and stumble toward Nate like a child seeking protection. Nate wrapped his arm around Hancock, ‘catching’ him against his chest. He smiled politely at the still staring ‘children’, protectively holding Hancock away from them and carefully backing away.

“Okay, that wasn't half the fun I thought it would be. I'm pretty sure I have a phobia of crowds now.” Hancock’s voice was a little shaky. Nate watched as he lifted a dispenser of Jet to his lips. As he depressed it, Nate laid a gentle kiss on his temple. 

“Sure you don't just mean a phobia of cults?” he asked. Hancock was too far gone to answer, though. Nate led him along outside of the crater as he tripped, rubbing little circles into his back as he did so. Between the drugs, and Nate’s gentle cooing, the whole ordeal seemed to fade from Hancock's mind.

“Hey, you with me? Radscorpians aren't going to wait until after we've got comfy to attack.” Nate patted Hancock's cheek, 

“When did you start calling me John?” Hancock suddenly asked, catching Nate off guard. 

“I didn't-”

“Earlier, not now. ‘m not crazy.”

Debatable. Still, Nate humored him, “I dunno. Today maybe? Once or twice before? It's your name, isn't it?”

“Yeah. I like it when you say it.” he grinned and Nate found himself wanting nothing more than to bury himself in that smile. Maybe if his geiger counter wasn't constantly reminding him that they were in hostile territory he would have. Nate went to kiss him.

_ Screeee.  _ He whipped away from Hancock, gun hot in his hand. Not one radscorpian. Two unhappy, stinger happy  _ son of bitc-  _

His arm burned where he had been struck, but he did his best to ignore the stinging as he emptied his shells into its tail. Hancock was at his hip, guarding his back from the other stinger.

“Fuck, I can’t feel my legs,” Hancock whined, “and not in the good way,” Nate had switched to a tire iron, finding it much easier to focus on melee in the tight quarters. His arm hurt, but he ignored it. He'd be okay later. For now he had to press through the pain. 

He swung down hard, lodging the tire iron through the head of the massive scorpion.

Fuck. And to think he once feared their smaller, half as deadly cousins crawling into his boots. Hancock had taken out the other monstrosity and now panted, leaning with his back pressed against Nate’s. Nate was shaking. His body felt heavy on his legs. Spots covered his vision. He just needed to lay down for a moment- he'd be fine.

 

“Nate! Wake up, dammit! NATE.” he felt a hand against his face as he came too. His cheek burned vaguely in the shape of fingers. He could feel every inch of himself stinging from exhaustion. Beside him he could count 1.. 2.. 3 empty stimpacks and an empty radaway discarded. He looked up to see a relieved ghoul staring down at him. “Fuck. Nate, you still with me buddy? You okay?”

“Yes,” Nate grunted. Hancock sighed, taking his hat off and putting it on Nate. He removed the flag - had that always been there? - from his belt and wrapped it around Nate’s shoulders and face. In another life, Nate would have fainted seeing a flag used the way Hancock used it. But now he was just relieved to have some protection from the radiation.

He looked so naked without the hat on. Nate took a moment to lay there before finally pushing himself to his feet. He put Hancock's hat back on his head and smiled affectionately over the ‘scarf’. 

“I love you. We're almost there,” Nate was half talking to himself. Hancock looked like he wanted to protest, but he knew resting just meant they would be in the radiation longer. They made haste, climbing over the rocky path and hills carefully. 

“There, ahead. I can see a cave,” Hancock said, pointing so that Nate could too.

“Awesome,  that must be i-”

A horrible roar shook Nate from that thought. He turned his head to see what made such a noise.

She stood at least twice his height, bent forward with nasty horns and bared teeth. Her skin-

White. Nate had never seen a deathclaw like that before. It's skin was pure, leathery white, and its eyes glowed red in the dark green mist. It reminded him of white rabbits he use to see in pet stores pre-war.

“Run,” Hancock had said it so quietly Nate almost asked him to repeat it. It was only when the two of them were making a mad dash towards the open maw of the cave ahead that Nate even realized what Hancock had said. He could feel the albino deathclaw’s breath on his neck as he leaped, arm in arm with Hancock, through the cave. Claws might have torn the edges of his clothing, but the relief of smooth stone and cool, clear air was all too much to let him notice. He and Hancock collapsed on the cave floor, gasping and grasping each other. He laughed a high, nervous laugh and showered the ghoul in kisses. 

They were alive.

They just laid there for the moment, panting and holding each other on the cool stone floor. Nate’s geiger counter had stopped ticking, but the difference in air pressure was enough to tell him that he was clear of the radiation. He felt Hancock's lips on his cheek and he leaned into the other man, letting him kiss wherever he damn pleased. 

Nate was the first to sit up. He could hear the sound of the ticking of turrets near by, along with the hum of electricity. Likely the right cave, then. He stood, then helped Hancock to his feet as well, cautiously turning the corner with his gun raised. The turrets lined the hall, but they didn't activate on sight. Silently, Nate approached. He passed a protectron, and several spotlights that nearly blinded him and finally ended at a landing made of stone.

Lights lit up a figure. An unexpected figure. What Nate had imagined to be some kind of skinny lab rat of a man instead was replaced with a tall, green skinned abomination. Now, Nate had seen plenty of super mutants before, but none that wore glasses or carefully stitched together long johns. Hancock even seemed surprised by this, which told Nate that it wasn't a very common occurrence. 

“Virgil?” Nate asked, his voice barely a whisper. Virgil responded, causing Nate to freeze in his approach.

“Don't take another step closer.”


	19. Brian Virgil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting Brian Virgil, Hancock and the sole survivor are given a new, impossible sounding quest.

“Hold it. Take it nice and slow, no sudden movements.” Nate did as he was told - this could turn ugly fast, and he needed information. He slowly placed his gun on the ground, lifting himself back up to his feet with his hands in the air. He wouldn’t mention the second gun in his back pocket. He couldn’t see Hancock from where he stood, but he heard the shotgun touch the floor and the sound of a cigarette being lit.

“I’m not moving,” Nate responded.

“I know you’re from the Institute, so where’s Kellogg? Huh? Trying to sneak up on me while you distract me?” He glared harshly, “It’s not going to work!”

Nate felt his heart jump. This thing, this Super Mutant… this person  was real, was tangible. They somehow were also evidence of the existence of the Institute. Nate had to believe the place was real, for his sake and for his son’s sake, but this… this man had been inside the Institute. Even after seeing Synths, meeting Nick Valentine and seeing Kellogg’s memories, he was never sure. He still struggled to be sure. “I’m not stupid, I knew they’d send him after me.”

“Hey, hey, take it easy,” Nate searched Virgil’s face for clues that he was going to do anything near ‘taking it easy’ and found nothing, “Kellogg’s dead.”

“Dead?” He seized up, eyes dropping from the sole survivor and finding somewhere on the rocky wall to focus on, “He’s… dead?” Suddenly, the green skinned abomination turned on him, arms raised up slightly. Nate could hear Hancock take a sharp breath, but he stood his ground, “Don’t you like to me!”

“I’m not lying. I killed him myself,” Nate said simply. It was the truth. Kellogg’s blood still lingered at Nate’s hands. He’d never be able to scrub himself clean of it. He’d never want to after what he did to Nor-

“Did you… Kellogg was ruthless… There’s a reason  the Institute used him to do their dirty work for so many years,” Nate could see Virgil coming to a conclusion behind his sickly yellow eyes. Whatever it was, he didn’t share, “I knew they’d send him after me; I tried to prepare for it, but I still wasn’t sure I’d make it… And so you. You killed him, eh? Then what do you want with me?” 

At this point, Nate had lowered his hand. Hancock had offered him a drag from the cigarette and he silently declined. Put inhaler after inhaler of jet into his system, sure, but he’d never be able to scrub clean his mind from all those ‘anti-smoking’ campaigns he saw as a kid.

“Why did you leave the Institute? I know you came from there.”

“You know about the escape? But how!?” He seemed genuinely shocked, which surprised Nate. The man could prepare himself to fight to the death against a deadly mercenary, but couldn’t comprehend that someone might have information. Luckily, Nate didn’t have to answer, “No, it doesn’t matter. I’m not going back… I can’t go back. Look at me!”

_ It’s not like I could stop looking at you,  _ Nate thought. Virgil stomped to the side, frustration on his green colored face.

“Why are you even here? What do you want?”

“Relax - I just need to know how to get in there.”

“Wait, what? Are you serious? You -” He looked baffled, “You want to get into the Institute? Are you insane? Nevermind how nearly impossible that is, even if you were to succeed it’d certainly end in your immediate death.” Nate had been ignoring that possibility. He had to. He’d keep ignoring it. “What reason could you possibly have for taking that kind of risk?”

“I’m trying to find my son,” Nate responded, voice harsh. Hancock patted his shoulder quietly behind him and Nate suddenly wished he had taken him up on that drag, “The Institute kidnapped him.”

“Oh,” There was a moment of silence between the three of them. “Oh no. I had no idea. I’m sorry. Yeah,” Nate leaned against the stone wall, arms crossed over his chest. He had relaxed a bit at this point. Clearly, if Virgil was still harboring the urge to send his robots to kill Nate, they were fading quickly. Hancock had taken up to wandering, looking at the robots and medical instruments curiously. Virgil continued, “Yeah, the Institute has taken people from the Commonwealth in the past. If your son is one of them… I can understand why you’d want to get in there. I can help, but,... I’m going to need something in return.”

“What do you want from me?” It was Nate’s turn to be surprised, raising his brows in response to Virgil’s request.

“Before I had to escape, I was working on a serum that would serve as a cure for my… condition. I wasn’t able to bring it with me. It’s still in my lab, and… Well, look at me. I need it. I need you to find it for me, if you manage to get inside the Institute. What do you say?”

It seemed pretty straight forward to Nate. If it meant getting what he needed then… Then of course he’d get Virgil’s serum. “You help me, and I’ll help you.”

“Alright. Alright, let’s talk details. First thing’s first. You know how synths get in and out of the Institute?”

“Yeah. they use some sort of teleporter.” Nate responded.

“Well, well. Not many know about it. Pretty closely guarded secret. You’ve certainly done your homework. It’s commonly referred to as the “Molecular Relay.” I don’t understand all the science behind it, but it works. De-materializes you in one place, re materializes you in 

Another. I’m sure it sounds crazy, but it’s a reality.”

“Do the Synths go in as giant robots and come out - nevermind. Continue,”

“The Relay is the only way in and out of the Institute. You understand? The only one. That means you’re going to have to use it. Now, have you ever seen an Institute Courser?”

“Nope,”

“Not surprising. They don’t come out often, and when they do, few see them. Coursers are Institute synths, designed for one purpose. They’re hunters. Operations go wrong, a synth goes missing, and a Courser is dispatched. They’re very good at what they do, and you’re going to have to kill one.”

“Why do I have to kill one?” Nate asked,

“Because you want to get into the Institute, remember? They’re your ticket in. Every Courser has special hardware that gives them a direct connection to the Relay in the Institute. It’s embedded in a chip in their heads. You need that chip. But to get it, you’ll have to find a Courser.

“Now I don’t know exactly where you can find one. They haven’t sent any after me, and sitting here waiting doesn’t seem like a good plan. You’re going to have to hunt one down. I can tell you where to start, and give you some help finding one, but you’ll have to do the dirty work.”

Nothing new. He could feel the sarcastic, dirty joke brewing on Hancock’s lips so he quickly continued before the Ghoul had a chance to spoil the seriousness of the conversation. “Let’s get to it,”

The two of them talked details over a cup of hubflower tea. Being able to sit after all the shit they had waded through felt better than Nate would have liked to admit. Hancock seemed to be restraining himself pretty well from getting handsy as he sat beside the sole survivor, sipping his tea in silence. Their goal was pretty simple. Go to the CIT ruins, kill a courser, and with it Virgil would be able to design some kind of machine that would teleport Nate into the Institute. Simple. 

They slept on the floor of the lab, though Nate didn’t feel rested when he woke up. The dread of returning to the radiated wasteland outside didn't sit well with him. Hancock had slept on a separate bed roll, though still close, and Nate found himself waking up a tad cold for the first time since he and Hancock had started, well, sleeping together. He rolled onto his back, scratching his face. Stubble had grown across it like moss. It itched, but a sharp razor wasn't something he found common in the Boston wilds. He sat slowly, stretching his aching neck. He felt a hand crawl up his back and turned to see Hancock smirking playfully from the ground. 

Virgil was still asleep, but he was so close… Nate leaned down, pinning Hancock's hands above his head. The ghoul was  _ dead  _ silent, looking up at Nate with apprehension. Nate leaned down, kissing along Hancock's cheek. He nudged his coat collar open with his chin, sneaking his lips down to meet the other man’s neck. Hancock did everything within his power not to moan as Nate kissed along that sweet spot on his jugular. He wanted to touch Nate back, to feel those muscles under his blue vault suit....

“Ehem,” Nate jumped, lifting his head and cowering back slightly in surprise. Virgil stood at the top of the small staircase and looked down at the two, much smaller men with a raised brow. He said nothing, however, and stepped over them. Silently, they packed up. Nate’s heart was racing. It was like being caught by a parent. He knew ever since he first caught feelings for Hancock that there was likely going to be some sort of resistance - racism that Nate had little experience with -against their relationship. 

Hancock’s hand brushed against Nate’s as they folded a blanket together and Nate nearly pulled his hand away. He surprised himself with the urge. He wasn't ashamed of their relationship, and this was hardly public. Was it a fear of their safety? Or of something else? 

Was it Nora?

Nate still wore his wedding ring on that finger. When the blanket came together enough for them to pack it away he lingered on it for a moment. She hadn't even been dead for-

Well, at least ten years. But Nate had only been awake for all of six months of that. He had moved on so quickly. It made his stomach churn when he thought of it. He pulled his bag over his shoulder, wishing Virgil luck before heading towards the mouth of the cave.

“Somethin’ weighing on you?” Hancock's sweet sandpapery voice brought Nate back to reality. He must have been pretty gone. He looked at him, a sadness in his tired eyes.

“I… its nothing.” He forced a smile,

“You know, I've been popping mentats since like, three this morning. I know ‘cause I woke up and played that game on yer pip-boy for an hour while you slept. My point is, I've noticed… you keep looking at your ring.” Hancock brushed his fingers over Nate’s hand. He surprised Nate by running his finger over the ring delicately, almost lovingly. They lingered a moment in the tunnel and Hancock turned Nate towards him with a gentle touch. Nate looked down, avoiding his eyes.

“I'm sorry. I.. I miss her sometimes. She was… I mean…”

“Nate, its okay. I knew what I was getting into. After what you had gone through, I knew shit like this was bound to happen.” he stepped closer. Nate found his face being gently held between two scarred hands. He looked up at Hancock, smiling a little. Those hands were everything to him now. “You know.. It’s okay,” He whispered, almost too quietly for Nate to hear him.

“I- thank you.” he sighed. He let himself just be held for a moment. Part of him wanted to linger there because feeling the affection was overwhelmingly comforting. Part of him just didn't want to go outside again. Hancock gave him a brief kiss. 

“We've gotta go back out there.”

“I know,”

“Got the rad-x?”

“Yep,” Nate ran a hand through his hair, huffing. Hancock chuckled and the two of them moved toward the entrance. Nate swallowed hard- and then they were out in the Glowing Sea again.


	20. John and Nate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nate and Hancock head to Diamond City at the beginning of the night. They plan on camping out in Kellogg's house for the night before heading to the CIT.

When they finally reached the relief of land where his pip-boy didn’t scream at them about radiation levels, Nate felt nothing but relief. The air felt almost cold here. What he wouldn’t give to feel some normal ass rain showering down on the two of them. They were going to stay in Diamond City tonight, in Kellogg’s house. It was the closest place with good supplies to the CIT building, and no way would they have the energy to fight a courser, if they were really as strong as Virgil said they were, after the traveling they had just gone though. It was dark enough out, no one would harass them too much. No one really harassed them that much. At least, not when Nate was around to glare daggers at anyone.  
The security officer barely looked up when they arrived at the gates, looking between Nate and Hancock briefly before sighing and shaking his hand for them to go in. Nate kind of smirked in pride as they did nothing to prevent them from walking right in. “Better watch your friend. I don’t want to hear anything about someone getting bit,” The officer’s voice followed them as they stepped in, and Nate took a deep, frustrated sigh. Hancock smirked, tossed his head back and retorted with a,

“Don’t worry. I only bite if someone asks me to,” Another security officer tried to muffle a laugh. Nate didn’t.  
They walked down the ramp, Nate with a hand over his neck as they headed into the city. Most stores were closing up, Myrna putting Percy in charge while making sure he promised he wouldn’t sell anything to Synths, in which he promised vaguely. They made a quiet beeline up to Kellogg’s place, making sure to dodge the glances of security officers as they did so. When they got in, Nate collapsed almost immediately on the bed, stretching to take up the entire bed with a lazy smirk on his face. His clothes were lying on the ground, discarded quickly, and Nate now was wearing nothing but his underwear. Hancock pulled his jacket off slowly, folding it and placing it on the ground slowly. He stood in his frilly shirt, looking down at Nate for a moment.

“You know, I still owe you.” He said quietly, watching Nate for a reaction. The smooth skinned man opened one eye to look up at Hancock curiously, parting his lips slightly at the thought. “And I hate having debts. Especially to _such good friends._ ” He sat down at what corner he could find with Nate spread out the way he was. Nate, silent, turned his head slightly to the side and rested it on his bicep, which he had lifted up when he crossed his arms behind his head. Hancock leaned forward, lingering just a little over Nate’s mouth with a grin. Nate moved up to kiss him but he quickly moved away, not letting the contact happen.   
“Hold on. Easy tiger. You’ll get exactly what you need, don’t worry. I always take _good_ care of my friends.” He slid a hand over Nate’s thigh, which still hurt from the long walk from Virgil’s cave. Nate moaned from the relief of the pressure against his tense muscles. Hancock watched him curiously and, in response, slowly started to rub along the tense muscles in his thighs. “Tense, love?” He asked, Nate groaning in response. That sound - god it did wonders for Hancock. 

“John,” Nate groaned his name out. It was enough to drive any ghoul feral. He practically had to stop himself from drooling.

“Roll over,” Hancock mumbled. Nate hesitated for a moment, not sure what to expect. Still, he did as he was told, resting his forehead on his arms, using the space between his shoulders to keep himself from being suffocated by the bed. He felt something slick pour onto his back,

“What are yo-”

“Shhh, relax.” Hancock’s sweet voice had some kind of magic effect on Nate, always soothing him no matter the situation. It was safety. It was home.

He felt Hancock’s rough fingers working into his muscles and almost cried in relief. It must have been some sort of oil, because the wet liquid caused his lover’s fingers to slide effortlessly across his muscles. Nate let out another low groan as Hancock worked his shoulder muscles loose. He was putty in the other man’s hands.   
Hancock’s hips were placed firmly against his ass, and he could feel the ghoul’s enjoyment through his pants. Nate panted, unable to resist the pulse of urge that rocked through him when he realized it. Hancock slid a finger over the hem of his underwear and Nate helt them slide down to his ankles. He didn’t struggle, complain or even make a comment. He didn’t want this to stop. He felt the ghoul’s fingers work down over his ass, sliding the slick oil across his skin. The muscles there weren’t half as tense, but they were getting tenser the more he teased. Hancock leaned his head forward, breath hot on Nate’s ear as he brought a finger teasingly over Nate’s entrance.

Nate never wanted someone to be inside of him so badly then in that moment. He groaned in relief as Hancock let his oil slicked finger push in. Nate’s erection was straining against Kellogg’s bed, precum wetting the cover slightly. One hand worked Nate’s back muscles, while the other massaged his prostate skillfully. He was panting over Nate, filling the sole survivor with pleasure at every angle. 

“John,” His voice was pleading, unable to control his needs any longer. Hancock smirked,

“I take requests,” God, if that ghoul could fuck him with just his voice it would be the best damn lover Nate could ask for,

“Fuck me,” He whimpered. He didn’t have to ask twice. Though he couldn’t see him, he could hear the the sound of Hancock’s pants hitting the floor. He heard something else spill on the floor, but didn’t care enough to question it. More oil poured on him, but this time it was over his ass. Like syrup being drizzled on two perfect mounds of icecream. Nate nearly laughed at the mental image of his ass being icecream, but lost the thought as the ghoul expertly put that oil to good use. He massaged more of it over his entrance and deep inside of him. Then, Nate felt the pressure of the ghoul’s cock. It was dripping, too, covered in the smooth oil that now covered Nate’s back and rear. Hancock pushed the head inside with ease and Nate gasped.

This felt so much better than just cum and spit. It slid in so much easier, and hit that sweet spot so much faster. 

“Fuck, that’s tight,” Hancock muttered, adjusting himself over Nate’s back. He paused for a moment, not moving at all, just letting them both get use to the penetration. Nate’s toes curled.

Hancock gave a sudden and hard thrust, earning a ‘John!’ from a surprised Nate. God, he loved that.

“I love making you call out for me.” He growled into Nate’s ear. He made another hard thrust, earning a yelp this time. “I love you,” He whispered.

Nate couldn’t respond, shaking from the intense feeling pulsing through his whole body. He gripped the bed below him, biting his hand to keep himself from screaming in a mix of pleasure and pain. Hancock started rhythmically pounding his hips down against Nate’s ass. Obscene sounds of flesh slapping against flesh filled the air of the house, and Nate was sure the neighbors could hear all of that.

Somehow, that turned him on even more. Hancock’s hand slipped down against Nate’s neck, lifting him back a little with a little bit of pressure. He kissed Nate’s jaw and let his lips wander down. He see Nate’s hazy gaze on him. Oh fuck yeah. He sucked on the tense muscles along his shoulders, leaving a trail of marks across parts he knew very well would be visible the next day to anyone who might see them. 

Nate was shaking under him, unable to handle the intense feeling much longer. He was grinding against the bed, with little other direct relief. He felt Hancock’s teeth find that sweet spot on his neck and gently bite. Again, Nate let out another ‘John’ to reward him.   
“Mm you taste damn good,” Hancock groaned. He put his arm under Nate’s stomach, pulling his hips up slightly. The other still lingered at his neck, but now he let it wander down to Nate’s chest. He only had a moment to wonder what Hancock was doing before he felt the smaller man lift him up with the new leverage and force him to sit back in his lap.   
Oh god. That was the deepest anyone had ever been inside of him. Nate gasped, knees shaking, resting on the balls of his feet on the bed. Hancock’s legs stretched out between Nate’s now, and after a moment of adjusting, he went right back to pounding into Nate from this new angle. His cock slid in and out with ease, and Nate wondered if that was just the oil or if it was because his ‘virgin ass’, as Hancock loved to call it, was getting a little less tight. The thought disappeared almost as fast as it had came when Hancock’s hand found Nate’s cock.   
Oil slicked, his rough fingers became a source of intense pleasure. Nate threw his head back, letting out a gasp. He could feel his eyes rolling back, but could barely comprehend anything he was looking at. Hancock’s hand, his cock, his hips moving with such enthusiasm. God, it was too much. He felt the ghoul’s lips at his shoulder.

“Cum for me,” He growled. Hancock didn’t have to ask twice. The words sent Nate over the edge, throbbing member letting out a  _ large  _ amount of cum into his chest. Hancock thrusted in deep, and Nate could hear his pip-boy clicking angrily at him. It didn’t matter. Hancock knew exactly what he wanted.

As their aftershocks subsided, Nate became aware of the pain in his ankles and knees from holding that position for so long. He practically fell off of Hancock, using his hands to hold himself up from smearing his cum all over the bed. Hancock let out a slow, strained groan as he pulled free. Nate heard him fall back, and a quiet ‘bang’ as he hit something,

“Ow, shit,” Hancock groaned and laughed. Nate let out a strained giggle, turning to fall onto his back against the bed. Hancock sat up slightly again, looking across at Nate.

“You’re a mess.” He laughed, “Open your mouth.”

Nate looked confused, glancing down at Hancock’s-

“No. Not that. Open,” Nate laughed a little, obeying the mayor. He felt a pill touch his tongue and he swallowed it. Rad-x, he thought at first. Then, he felt an amazing wave of pleasure rocked over his body. Ohh, he knew that feeling.  
As the day tripper worked through his mind, Hancock gently began to clean his body. The high rocked through him so pleasantly. He arched his back slightly when Hancock moved his rag over the more sensitive parts of his body. It almost amplified the feeling. He felt cool water drip down on his chest. Hancock washed away evidence of their lovemaking and covered every part of Nate’s body in loving kisses. Especially along the line of hickies he had made on the vaultie’s neck.

When all was done, Hancock didn’t do anything to redress Nate. He removed his own shirt and hat instead, finding a comfortable position to curl up on Nate’s chest. Nate placed his hand on the back of the other man’s neck, rubbing very gently. Mmm fuck.

That’s nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Celebrating twenty chapters with some love making :3  
> I'm amazed how far I've taken this already, honestly. Never in my life have I kept interest in writing a fiction for this long. I just love Hancock's character so much, you know? He's such a cool dude.  
> I've started a tumblr! Its called agoddamnsynth :> feel free to check it out. I'm mostly just reblogging and posting occasional headcanons over there. I'll probably be posting my fic there, too? Maybe? I haven't decided. Either way, hope y'all enjoyed the fuck fest.

**Author's Note:**

> Based off a true story. Kind of. Lol. When I first got fallout 4 I spent a good amount of time just researching the companions to see which one I wanted to romance, and what was my options. A lot of them seemed interesting, but didn't appeal quite to my type (my type, being the 'ugly boy' usually. Or at least, the more interesting and less dolled up characters. John fit that quite well). I knew before I even started playing who I wanted to romance. By the time I finally got Hancock as a companion, I was excited to get the 'freakshow on the road' so to speak. It seemed, though, after getting him all my missions seemed to be non-stop ghoul fighting. And, when in dark corridors with lots of turns (fucking longneck lukowski's) I often overreacted when Hancock was suddenly in my face with his ghoul face. And I'd shoot him. Every. Time. I was just happy it never took him out, but man it started getting funny. 
> 
> There was even a time I was sitting in an elevator, decided to chat with him, right? So he says 'shoot'. And when I clicked I must have accidentally clicked out of the chat box because I actually fucking shot him. Immediately, for some reason, my game crashed at the same time. I sat there in shock for a few minutes before laughing my ass off. My roommate and my boyfriend stared at me like I was fucking insane but maaaan was it funny to me. Either way, this fic had to happen.
> 
> This is going to be part one of an ongoing fiction I've been writing of how John Hancock and Nate (the sole survivor)'s relationship became something more intimate then simply traveling partners. I've got a few parts already written up. Will gradually get more mature over time, references of drug use and sexual content will come at a later time. I'll avoid major plot spoilers at least for this first half of building their relationship, though I may continue it into the sole survivor's story. There will, however, be direct quotes from Hancock's affinity conversations! Keep in mind, I will be trying my best to keep the description of the sole survivor neutral as possible so it can be immersive for everyone who played the male sole survivor. I also defaulted to Nate as his name. I hope you all enjoy, this will be my first fan fiction work in years!


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